


A Menace In My Bed

by justyrae



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Football, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Dress Up, Edgeplay, Embarrassment, F/M, Face-Sitting, Genderswap, Hand Jobs, Kink Exploration, Kink Negotiation, Light Bondage, Lingerie, Masturbation, Oral Fixation, Phone Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Riding, Safewords, Sex Club, Sex Tapes, Sexting, Spanking, Teasing, Therapy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Verbal Humiliation, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:22:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7638142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyrae/pseuds/justyrae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it’s hard for Niall to ask for what he wants, but it’s okay. Louis knows just what to give him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Menace In My Bed

**Author's Note:**

> y'know sometimes one thing leads to another and suddenly i've written 24k of bdsm kink exploration fic and idk how i got here either. i'm not actually into bdsm so if anything's incorrect i apologize, i didn't do much research apart from looking up a list of kinks and running with it.
> 
> big thanks to J for beta-ing, even if i made you mad when i was mean to niall (sorry but you should know better by now) <3
> 
> title from "Trouble" by Halsey

If there's one thing Niall knows to be true, it's that Harry is anything but subtle. Niall knows that asking him to drinks under the pretense of catching up really means that Harry wants to check up on him and see how he's doing, as though he doesn't already know.

"It's good to see you," he says as he pulls Niall into a one-armed hug before they both sit down.

"Yeah, you said that already," Niall replies with a nervous laugh. Sure, it's the first time he's been out in public in a while but Harry doesn't have to keep mentioning it like Niall's been gone for ages.

"I meant it," Harry says earnestly, which makes Niall feel a little bad. "I was worried, y'know."

"I'm fine," Niall says quickly. "Haz, you don't have to worry about me. I'm not--"

"I know," Harry interrupts. "Just… y'know." He sighs. "I know it's hard."

Niall winces a little but shakes it off quickly as their waiter comes over for their drink order. He keeps his eyes on his menu long after the waiter's left, acutely aware of Harry watching him carefully.

"So d'you want any food, or--"

"You're okay, right?" Harry asks in a rushed breath, as though he's been holding it in forever.

"Christ," Niall mumbles, "I'm _fine_ , Harry, I told you. Been seeing a therapist just like everybody else, okay? You don't have to worry."

"Can't help it. It's just--"

"Harry," Niall interrupts gently. "Can we not? Please? Let's just talk about something else."

Harry lets it go, thankfully, choosing instead to regale Niall with stories he's probably heard before but doesn't mind listening to again. He lets his guard down a little, now that it's out of the way. He relaxes in a way that he hasn't let himself in ages and it feels good, even if a small part of him still feels guilty when he feels happy.

Niall's halfway through his third pint when Harry brings up an entirely different topic, somehow managing to find another that Niall is less than enthused about discussing. It honestly shouldn't surprise him as much as it does, making him choke on the beer in his mouth and Harry's face break into a grin. Niall waits until he's caught his breath and his chest doesn't feel like it's about to explode before asking Harry to repeat himself just to ensure that he's heard him correctly.

"How's your love life?"

"Bit nonexistent, mate." Niall nervously drums his fingers against his pint glass as Harry frowns, waiting for the impending storm.

"What about Laura?" Harry asks, his mouth still pulled downwards in a frown. "I thought you liked her."

"I did-- I mean, I do," Niall replies with a sigh. "It's just… I dunno. Wasn't right, me and her."

"What wasn't right?"

"Jesus, with the twenty questions!" Niall shakes his head and hopes that Harry will just drop the subject, but one look at him tells Niall that there's no way that'll happen any time soon. He can't possibly get his way twice tonight. "I dunno, we just wanted different things, I guess."

Harry hums. "Was it the football thing?"

"The football thing?" Niall laughs. "Y'mean, my career?"

"I'm just saying," Harry says in a placating tone, "not everyone's cut out to be a WAG, y'know."

Niall shakes his head again as he stays silent, watching the bubbles rise in the glass in front of him rather than meet Harry's eye. Niall knows better than anyone that not everyone can handle the stress of what it means to be in a relationship with a pro footballer, having had several relationships fail over the years from that alone. Laura hadn't minded the long hours of practice, the weeks spent in other countries for matches, those hasn't been the reasons for their relationship ending.

The only comfort that he takes in the downfall of his last relationship is the fact that it ended well before the end of the season. He's certain that if it had happened any later, well, there's no telling where he'd be right now.

"It wasn't that," Niall says softly. He keeps staring at his glass even as he picks it up and drains the remaining half of his beer from it, afterwards signaling their waitress for another round.

"Niall--"

"I'm gonna need another if I'm going to talk about this properly."

Harry dutifully waits for Niall's next pint to be delivered and then even longer for Niall to drink most of it, keeping his curious eyes on Niall's face the whole time even as he refuses to return Harry's gaze.

"Well?" Harry asks hesitantly once Niall's set down his glass and let out a long breath.

"She--" he starts, breaking off into a soft groan as he thinks of a better way to begin. "We didn't want the same things, if you know what I mean."

"I…" Harry tilts his head and gives Niall a confused look, "don't think I do."

Niall groans again and smacks his head against the table once quickly before he scoots closer and encourages Harry to lean in as well. His skin feels hot and clammy and there's an ache between his legs that's making it even more difficult for him to concentrate on what he wants to say. Niall fights the urge to press the heel of his hand against the zipper of his jeans and curses himself for already getting too worked up about this whole thing.

Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice reminds him that this is _good_ , this is _progress_. He hasn't felt much like himself as of late and truth be told feeling embarrassed is better than feeling numb. At least, that's what his therapist keeps telling him.

"I wanted something… _more_ in the bedroom." He stares at Harry meaningfully in the hopes that he, of all people, will understand.

"Oh.  _Oh_!" Harry leans in to Niall and whispers, "you mean like I used to…"

"Yes!" Niall says sharply.

"What'd you ask her to do?" Harry asks.

"Christ, Haz. Really?"

"How're you going to get what you want if you don't talk about it?"

Niall lets out a pathetic groan and presses his cheek against the table, forcing himself to keep his hands visible to avoid making things more awkward. "I figured you'd just tell me what to do."

"Niall," Harry says with a laugh, "you're asking the wrong person for that. You might not like everything that I liked, y'know."

"How can I figure out what I like when I can't find someone to do it?"

When Niall lifts his head off the table and looks back at Harry he finds Harry already looking at him with a large smile on his face. It's a little unnerving but Niall hesitantly smiles back regardless.

"I've got an idea."

*

"Haz--"

"It'll be great, trust me!"

" _Haz_ \--"

"Nobody's gonna recognize you, don't worry!"

"Harry!" They both abruptly stop and Niall huffs. "Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see," Harry replies as he grabs Niall's hand. "We're almost there, it's just around the corner."

Niall's not sure what he's getting himself into even as Harry pulls him through a set of doors past a rather tough-looking bouncer without much more than a smile, and the confusion doesn't fade even a little once they're inside.

"A club?" Niall asks, blinking as his eyes adjust to the dark atmosphere once they're inside. He's used to flashing lights and thumping bass lines in most clubs, not near total darkness and hardly any sound at all.

"Give me your phone," Harry says, his outstretched hand barely visible in the low light. Niall gives him a strange look before realizing Harry probably can't even see his face and hands his phone over anyway, expecting some sort of explanation once he does so.

"Haz, what is this?"

"It's a club," Harry replies as he grabs Niall's wrist and pulls him through another set of doors that Niall hadn't realized was there. "A _sex_ club."

"Oh, fucking hell," Niall murmurs as he glances around at the room in front of him. His eyes flit from one person to the next, feeling too embarrassed to stare at any group for too long. He swallows harshly as he turns to look at Harry who's looking back at him with a smile that falters when he sees the look of panic on Niall's face.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do," Harry tells him. "I just thought this would be a good starting point for you, y'know? Get some ideas about what you might like."

"That's, um…" Niall swallows again and does a quick once-over of the room. "Thanks, Haz."

Harry beams. "C'mon, let's find us a place to sit."

Niall's nerves don't lessen even after they find a table, he's too keyed up from all that's happening around them. He knows that everyone here is expecting to be watched, that's sort of the point, but it doesn't make him feel like any less of a pervert.

"What about that?" Harry asks as he points to a couple in the corner. The man is on all fours with a gag in his mouth doing push-ups while the woman sits on the small of his back looking uninterested until the man stops moving and she spanks him. Niall jolts even though it's on the other side of the room and he can't hear the smack.

"Maybe not," he replies as he turns back around in his chair and chews on his thumbnail nervously. He wishes they could get a round of pints but the only drink served in the club is water, for obvious reasons. Niall respects that, he really does, but he could also really fucking use a beer.

"Ooh!" Harry exclaims, "what about--"

"Harry?!"

Niall hears the voice only seconds before its owner launches themselves into Harry's lap, only narrowingly missing tipping the chair backwards. Niall quickly averts his eyes once he realizes it's a woman dressed in lingerie that leaves _very_ little to the imagination.

"I thought you quit this scene, you little shit!" she says as she hugs Harry tightly.

"I'm not here for me, Lou," he replies with a laugh as he hugs her in return. "I brought my friend, Niall." Harry gestures to Niall who looks over at the mention of his name and feels his cheeks turn bright red as the woman turns to look at him.

"Ooh, he's a cute one." She turns back to Harry and stage whispers in his ear. "Which side is he on?"

"Sorry?" Niall asks as he grips the arms of his chair in an attempt to ignore the way his dick is perking up again as they talk about him like he's not even there. He tries crossing his legs so as to not draw suspicion but it only makes it worse so he's forced to sit there with a semi as he watches the two of them continue.

"She wants to know if you're a Dom or a sub, Niall."

"Or a switch," she adds. "Don't get many of those around here, y'know."

"I don't…" Niall gulps. "I'm a sub, I think?" he offers.

Somewhere between one second and the next, the woman leaps off of Harry's lap and settles into Niall's. She slings her arms around Niall's neck and smiles widely at him as he tries not to stare at her breasts as they're nearly pushed into his face. He's thankful that she's sitting mostly on his thigh and therefore isn't pressing down on his groin, otherwise he'd be in big trouble.

"I'm Louis," she says, still smiling as she lightly taps Niall's nose. "Niall, was it?"

"Y-Yeah."

"You looking?" she asks and Niall's voice dies in his throat but Harry comes to his rescue.

"Let him breathe, Lou." Harry laughs as he reaches over and pulls Louis out of Niall's lap. Niall lets out a deep breath and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans as he tries to covertly adjust himself as best he can. If this night goes on much longer, there's a good chance he's going to embarrass himself.

"I'm just being friendly!" she replies, sitting on the table between them and rolling her eyes at Harry as she tucks her legs underneath herself.

"You weren't that friendly with me the first time I came around," Harry teases.

"That's because I never liked you," Louis replies, sticking her tongue out at Harry. She turns her attention back to Niall and smiles warmly. "What d'you think?"

"Of…?"

"This! Everything!" She gestures wildly around the room. "See anything you fancy?"

"I, um…" Niall swallows as he tears his eyes away from Louis and glances around, only to go right back to staring at her a few seconds later. "Yes?"

"Oh, you're too cute." Louis laughs. "Where'd you find him, Hazza?"

"Be nice, it's his first time in a place like this." Harry shakes his head and turns to Niall. "Sorry about her, she can be a bit much at times."

"I heard that," Louis snaps. "I'll just go then, won't I? I know when I'm not wanted, Harold!"

She gets up to leave but Harry grabs her by the wrist and tugs her back down into his lap, securing her there with an arm around her waist. Louis elbows him in the stomach as she crosses her arms but she stays put as Niall watches this all unfold with wide eyes.

"You might be able to help us out," Harry explains, "I wanted to show Niall a thing or two here to see what he might like, but you might know more than I do."

"Obviously."

Harry rolls his eyes and looks at Niall, who's staring back at the two of them, and an idea pops into Harry's head and a grin breaks out across his face.

"Louis," he says sweetly, "are you seeing anyone?"

*

Niall is, for lack of a better phrase, brickin' it. He purposefully picked a place to meet Louis that is close to his flat so he could walk there and build up his confidence, but instead he's nearly turned around and gone home at least three times. If he keeps it up, he's going to be late.

It's all just happening so fast, really. It was just a hypothetical thing in his head and now suddenly he's meeting with an actual dominatrix - the term alone sets him on edge more than he'd like to admit. He's still not really even sure if this is something he wants.

Niall shakes his head and turns on his heel, heading back in the direction of his flat for about twenty steps before he comes to his senses and turns around. He's not going to leave Louis alone in the cafe, that would be rude and insensitive. Plus, she's Harry's friend and if Harry found out that Niall stood her up then he'd never hear the end of it.

"It's just a talk," he reminds himself. "That's all, just talking."

He knows this, he's told himself this a hundred times just this morning on top of frantically texting Harry about it over an hour ago. Even Harry says it's just a talk, nothing's set in stone.

**_you can do this, niall! remember, it's just a talk!! :)_ **

Niall rereads Harry's last text four times before he puts his phone away. He's still two blocks from the cafe and he feels like he's sweating bullets even though it's a fairly cold day for April. He hasn't felt this nervous since his first proper match as a member of Arsenal, and he can't help but think he'd take that over this any day of the week.

As soon as he steps onto the block where the cafe is located, Niall pauses to take a deep breath. He exhales and repeats the action several more times as he tells himself to get a grip, this is just a normal lunch between two people. Nothing has to happen if he doesn't want it to.

He groans a little, knowing full well that whether or not he wants to admit it, he wants _something_ out of all of this. He just doesn't know what.

Niall shakes himself out of this stupor as best he can and walks the remaining steps down the block to the cafe, taking one more deep breath before he pushes the door open and steps inside. He glances around for any sign of Louis and spots her at a table in the back, not paying attention to what's going on around her as she thumbs through a magazine.

He can't decide whether he feels relieved or even more nervous as he cautiously approaches her, not wanting to scare her if she doesn't see him coming. She doesn't look up even as he reaches the edge of the table, hesitating instead of pulling out the chair across from her and sitting down.

"Aren't you going to sit?" she asks, her eyes never leaving the magazine spread out on the table in front of her. Niall quickly sits down and Louis chuckles. "Good boy."

A warm flush spreads across Niall's cheeks and he squirms a little in his seat as she closes the magazine and looks up at him with a smile.

"Hi," he says.

"Hi, yourself." Louis props her chin up in the palm of her hand and chuckles again. "Was beginning to think you weren't going to show up."

Niall frowns as he checks his watch, he ended up only being a few minutes late after his multiple restarts. Louis laughs as she reaches across the table to pat his hand consolingly.

"I'm just kidding, Niall. Take a breath, yeah?"

"Sorry," Niall says with a sharp exhale, "m'nervous, I guess."

"No need to be nervous, I promise. I don't bite." Louis smirks. "Unless you're into that sort of thing."

Niall laughs, in spite of himself. "I don't think so."

"What _are_ you into, then? Spanking, choking, blindfolds, handcuffs, whips, chains, flogging - that's quite a time, let me tell you - umm, gags, feminization, cross-dressing, humiliation - public or private, that is - dehumanization, objectification…"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down." Niall glances around and leans in towards Louis. "Don't you think we should talk about that later?"

"Later as in not yet or later as in not _here_?" Louis asks in a stage whisper. She taps Niall's nose again and giggles. "You've got to be upfront about what you want, Niall, otherwise this isn't going to work."

"What if I don't know what I want?" Niall asks, far more honestly than he'd intended. Louis' face softens immediately and she takes Niall's hand.

"Not everyone wants the same things, it's okay to experiment with what you think you might like. Liking what you like doesn't make you weird, it makes you _you_."

"How long have you been doing this?" Niall blinks and pulls his hand out of Louis', realizing what he's said and tries to backtrack. "I mean, you don't have to tell me, that was too forward, I'm--"

"It's okay," Louis laughs. "You're allowed to ask questions, I'm here to help you, remember? I've been a Dom for a few years now. Spent a lot of time watching before I started, though."

"Does that help?" Niall gulps. "Watching, I mean."

"It can, if who you're watching knows what they're doing." Louis smirks. "Did you like watching last night?"

"Felt a bit pervy, if I'm honest." Niall can feel his cheeks absolutely burning, at the rate he's going he'll be permanently pink.

"That's part of the fun, innit?" Louis whispers as she wiggles her eyebrows. "Did you see anything that struck your fancy, though?"

Niall thinks for a moment and shrugs. It's all a bit of a blur, really: a haze of feeling awkward about being turned on by the most trivial things in a room full of extreme kinks. The memory of Louis in her lingerie flashes in his mind and Niall shifts in his seat, trying not to draw attention to himself as best he can.

"Harry mentioned that your last relationship sort of… fizzled," Louis asks carefully and Niall has to fight the urge to squirm under her gaze. "Can you tell me why?"

Niall shrugs again as he mumbles, "she didn't want what I wanted, I guess."

"Niall," Louis sighs, "the first thing you have to do is learn to trust me. If there's no trust between a Dom and sub, then there's no point in having the relationship at all. You have to be able to let me in, to let me know what it is that you really want."

"I know, it's just…" Niall takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, "it's just hard to me to say it. I feel like… I dunno, like I should be ashamed for wanting it, or something."

Louis takes his hand again and squeezes it. "I know how it feels to be ashamed of what you want, but you can't let that stop you from going after it. I'm here for you, okay? I'm not going to judge you for what you want. Who am I to judge you, anyway?"

Niall nods but stays silent, turning Louis' words over in his head as he tries to get a handle on his own thoughts and desires. The silence stretches for a few minutes but Louis doesn't push it, something which Niall is grateful for.

"You okay?" she asks as she offers him a small smile.

"Yeah," he replies.

"You ready to talk about what you want?"

"I think so."

*

Niall's been pacing around his flat for the last twenty minutes trying to get his head together before Louis comes over for their first scene, the last five of which he's spent on the phone with Harry. He called Harry because he knew if he called Louis in a panic he'd try and cancel the whole thing which isn't really what he wants to do.

He just wants someone to talk him down, remind him that it's okay to want whatever it is that he wants.

"It's okay," Harry gently reminds him. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"I _know_ that, Haz."

"Do you? Because the way you sound right now makes it seem like you might forget that."

"I just…" Niall groans. "What if I want something that she can't give me? What if _I_ go too far? What then?"

"Then she'll use your safeword and you'll both stop and talk about it." Harry pauses. "You do have a safeword, right?"

"Yeah," Niall replies. That had been one of the first things he and Louis had discussed, once they'd gotten past Niall's awkwardness during their first meeting. "But, Harry--"

"It's going to be okay, Niall." Harry sighs. "Just remember, if you don't like this then you never have to do it again. It's all about what you want, okay?"

Niall stops in his tracks and taps his foot as he holds back a whine. He knows Harry's right, he knows he's making perfect sense, what he _doesn't_ know is why he can't get his brain to cooperate.

"Niall? You still there?"

"Yeah," Niall whispers.

"I think you're going to like it, Niall. Just… trust her, alright? They don't call her 'Louis Domlinson' for nothing."

"Wait, what?" Niall asks, but Harry's already hung up on him.

Niall hesitates for a moment after Harry's ended the call, hovering his thumb over Harry's phone number in his list of contacts as he debates calling him right back, but after a minute or two he decides against it and puts his phone down instead. He glances at the clock and sees that Louis will be here literally any moment now and he tries to take as deep of a breath as possible to settle his nerves.

He attributes much of his nervousness to the fact that he doesn't really _know_ Louis that well at all, but there is a small part of him that remembers how this went when he tried to ask Laura for what he really wanted and the awkward conversation that followed and eventually led to their breakup. While he knows that it's highly unlikely for that same situation to happen this time around, Niall can't shake the feeling of dread.

He's startled by a knock at the door, forcing him to tumble out of his thoughts and back into the real world. Even though he knows it'll be Louis on the other side he still checks the peephole just to be sure.

"Hiya," she says with a smile after Niall's opened the door. He steps back to allow her to come inside, keeping quiet as he closes the door behind her and lets her glance around a bit.

Louis sets her bag down and takes off her coat, going to tuck it over her arm but Niall steps forward to take it from her, unsure whether he's relieved or disappointed that she's not dressed in the same lingerie that she was wearing the night they met but rather wearing just a simple pair of jeans and a tshirt.

"What a gentleman," she says, her smile turning into more of a wicked smirk as Niall flushes and hangs up her coat. "You're awfully quiet today, everything okay?"

"Bit nervous, I guess," he answers with a small shrug.

Louis frowns a little and takes Niall's hand before she leads him over to his own couch and the two of them sit down. "What're you nervous about?"

"Just… this," he says, gesturing between the two of them. "Never done it before, y'know? And, uhh, it's a bit weird thinking I'll be doing it with someone I'm not, umm, well… in a relationship with?"

Louis doesn't say anything in response, she just keeps looking at Niall as though she's expecting him to keep going, which in turn makes Niall feel like he _should_ keep going and leads him to say something he probably shouldn't have said.

"Makes me sort of feel like I should be paying you or something," he says, only realizing how it sounds after it's already come out and he stares at Louis wide-eyed. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I don't think you're a prostitute or anything, I just--"

"It's alright, Niall," Louis answers calmly as she pats Niall's knee. "I know you didn't mean it like that."

"I'm sorry," he repeats as he buries his head in his hands. "God, I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot."

"Take a breath," Louis says with a soft laugh, "it's okay, Niall."

Niall takes several deep breaths before he lifts his head up and looks Louis in the eye again. He's about to apologize for the fourth time when she speaks up first.

"D'you know what I think? I think you're more nervous about actually getting what you want for the first time, perhaps rather than who you're getting it from."

"I don't…"

"I'm not saying you're not nervous about this," Louis gestures between the two of them, "too, Niall. I'm just saying that I think this might be easier than you're letting yourself believe it will be."

"How?" Niall asks. "I… I don't understand."

"Well, the last time you tried this with someone, it didn't go very well at all, did it?"

"No…" Niall tries not to wince as the memory pops up in the back of his head. "Not well at all."

"That's probably because whoever you asked didn't ever expect that sort of thing from you." Louis chuckles a little as she lightly pinches Niall's cheek. "Nobody'd ever think that underneath this sweet, cherub exterior lies something far more kinky."

Niall ducks his head and squirms a little, feeling his cheeks heat up at the same time his dick starts to get hard between his legs.

"The difference is," Louis says as she leans closer to Niall, "I already know you're a kinky bastard, don't I?"

"Y-Yeah…"

"And you know that I'm not going to say no, right?" Niall nods and shivers when Louis chuckles and he can feel her breath on his skin. "Unless, of course, you're being naughty."

"Jesus," he breathes out as he squirms again and Louis leans back, sitting up properly as she clears her throat.

"So," she begins, sounding less sultry and more businesslike, "did you go through the list I gave you?"

Niall nods as he reaches into his pocket to pull out the list he'd gone over the night before. He'd had to google quite a few of the kinks listed - which sent him down a rabbit hole that is most certainly not for the faint of heart - and he'd crossed off more than half the list as uninterested, but what was left was still more than enough for a start.

Louis takes the list from him with a smile and stays mostly silent as she looks it over, but every so often she pauses to comment on what he's chosen.

"Uniforms, hmm?" she asks with a soft laugh. "Does this mean I get to see you in your footie kit?"

"How-- What--" Niall stares at her; he'd never mentioned that he plays footie!

"You didn't think my interests only included BDSM, did you?" Louis laughs a little louder. "Please, I've been following Arsenal since I was in nappies."

A dark flush blooms across Niall's cheeks and he ducks his head a little. Louis reaches over and slips her hand under Niall's chin, tipping it upwards so their eyes meet.

"Don't worry, everything we do here stays here. You don't have to worry about me going to the Sun or anything like that."

"I know," Niall answers on a long exhale.

"Do you?" Louis asks, tilting her head to the side with a soft smile.

"I do now," Niall replies with a laugh. Louis' smile grows larger and she pinches Niall's cheek lightly before she goes back to reading his list.

"Ooh," Louis hums, "like a bit of dirty texting, do you?"

Niall laughs bashfully and turns his head away from Louis.

"That'll work nicely with assignments," she murmurs as she continues reading. "Face sitting?"

"Yeah, I… uh," Niall clears his throat, "like, y'know. Doing that."

"Well, I'm certainly not going to say no," Louis replies with a wink. "Let's see, what else, dirty talk, edge play, biting, mhm, mhm, oh! There's a note next to scratching?"

"I just…" Niall freezes for a moment when Louis looks at him, "wanted to clarify, I guess?"

"That's good, Niall. I need to know these sorts of things so I don't push you too far." Louis looks back down at the list and reads out, "scratching - not deep enough to draw blood but enough to hurt."

"Is that okay?" Niall asks.

"It's perfect." Louis smiles. "So I'll keep this list and use it to plan out our next few scenes, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"Actually, yeah," Niall clears his throat, "I did notice something missing from your list."

"What's that?"

"Kissing?" Niall says with a slightly awkward laugh. "I just, I dunno, wondered why it wasn't on there?"

Louis lets out a wry laugh and for the first time since Niall met her, he thinks she looks a bit uncomfortable. "I don't do kissing."

"You… what?"

"It helps me stay focused," Louis replies as she avoids eye contact. "I know it's stupid and so very Pretty Woman, but I've found that kissing just messes things up."

"Oh."

Louis frowns. "Is that a problem?"

"No, I just…" Niall shrugs. "Hadn't thought about it like that, I guess. So you mean just like, kissing on the mouth?"

"Exactly." Louis lets out a soft breath. "Easy enough to remember, right?"

Niall shrugs again. "If I forget, you'll punish me, yeah?"

Louis grins widely.

*

After discussing the list, Niall couldn't help but think that Louis would want to wait until the next time they saw each other to dive into a real scene. He tried not to let this thought make him feel disappointed but the truth was, he'd really been looking forward to trying _something_ today.

"Alright," Louis says as she gets up from the couch with the list in her hand and walks over to where she left her bag on the floor near the door. Niall stands up as well, moving around the couch to head for the door in order to let her out but Louis clears her throat and he pauses.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to show me to the bedroom?" she asks as she places her hands on her hips.

"You-- So, we're going to start now?" He gulps a little as a shiver runs through his body at the very thought.

"You didn't think I'd come all the way over here without giving you a taste, did you?" Louis shakes her head. "Silly boy."

Niall finds it a little more difficult than usual to put one foot in front of the other as he leads Louis towards his bedroom, far too aware of her presence behind him and what's going to happen once they reach their destination.

Louis sets her bag down by the door while Niall stands near the foot of the bed, curling his hands into fists and loosening them a few times as he waits for her cue. She glances around the room for a few moments before she looks directly at Niall and smiles widely.

"Remember the codes?"

Niall nods. "Green means go, yellow means slow down, red is full stop."

"Good. And what do you call me?"

"Mistress," Niall replies as another shiver travels down his spine.

"Good boy." Her smile turns into a dirty smirk. "Take off your shoes, shirt, and trousers."

"Yes, Mistress." He slips his shirt off over his head, kicks off his shoes and unbuckles his belt so he can pull his jeans down and off of his legs. Goosebumps spread across his skin as he stands back up and sees Louis staring straight at him. She lifts her hand and crooks a finger at him, gesturing for him to come forward.

"Come here, boy."

He shuffles across the room until he's standing directly in front of her in just his pants. He watches her eyes fall to his groin, he's already grown hard and he's sure she can see the outline of his dick through the thin material of his pants.

"Now undress me," she commands as she raises her arms above her head.

Niall shakes as he takes the hem of her shirt into his hands and pulls it upwards. He has to bite his bottom lip to hold back any sounds as a lacy red bra is revealed underneath it, pushing her breasts up beautifully and making Niall even more aroused.

"C'mon now, I don't have all day," she says in a slightly bored tone.

Niall drops to his knees and tugs at the button on her jeans, just barely holding back a whimper when he sees that her knickers match her bra. He should've known better than to assume she wouldn't be wearing fancy lingerie.

"Mistress," he breathes once she's stepped out of her jeans and he's staring up at her, still kneeling on the floor. "Can I touch?"

"Good boy, asking for permission," she says as she gently cups the side of his face. For a moment he thinks she's going to say yes and he preemptively lifts his hand, but in-between one second and the next she drops her hand and pinches his left nipple between her fingers and he jolts suddenly. "Get on the bed," she orders.

He scrambles to get to his feet and walks backwards until the backs of his knees hit the foot of his bed and he all but falls onto his back. He pulls himself further up onto the bed as Louis walks over and climbs onto the bed, stretching out next to him in a leisurely way.

"Take off your pants," she says as she reaches out to grab the elastic of his pants, pulling it out and letting it snap back into place before Niall can reach for it. He grunts softly at the sting but doesn't let it deter him from doing what she asked, letting her see just how worked up he is already from only a few minutes of play.

Louis hums as she walks two fingers along Niall's hipbone towards his belly, curving around the head of his cock to avoid touching it. Niall fists his hands in the sheets as he fights the urge to touch himself. Louis hasn't given him permission to yet and he's not about to break a rule on the first day.

"Go on, boy. Touch yourself." Louis drags her fingers up Niall's chest and draws circles around his right nipple. "I want to see you wank."

"Yes, Mistress," he replies through gritted teeth as he wraps his fist around his cock. He moans a little at first touch and darts his eyes over to Louis, searching for confirmation that he's allowed to make noise.

"That's it," she says quietly. "Show me how you like it."

Niall shuts his eyes and groans as he tightens his grip on his cock, pulling on it faster as Louis continues teasing his nipple with her fingers. He lets out a loud moan when she suddenly puts her mouth on it, licking and sucking while her breasts are pressed against Niall's arm. He so badly wants to push his arm into her breasts or slip his hand between her legs but he forces himself to keep his arm still, his fist gripping the sheets of his bed.

Louis lifts her head, pulling her mouth away from Niall's nipple but replacing it with her fingers with only a second or two in-between, and brings her lips to Niall's ear.

"Close, boy?"

"Y-Yes," he stutters as his eyes fly open, "m'close, Mistress. Feels so good."

"Mm, I'll bet it does." Louis hums in Niall's ear and slides her hand back down across his belly until she reaches his left wrist and wraps her hand around it. "Stop."

"W-What?" Niall gasps as she tightens her grip, forcing him to stop wanking. "Mistress, please!"

"I told you to stop, boy." Louis hums as she pulls on Niall's wrist until he lets go of his cock. He doesn't hold back a whimper as it slaps against his belly, leaving it neglected as she pushes his arm to the side. "Why should you have all the fun?"

"Mistress--"

"Don't you want to please me?" she asks as she sits up next to him, turning around so she's on her knees facing him.

"Yes."

"I'm going to give you what you want," she says as she starts slipping her knickers down her thighs. Niall can't help but follow the movement with his eyes, finding that his mouth waters as she exposes herself. "Hungry, boy?"

"Y-Yes, Mistress." He looks up at her with wild eyes and she grins at him.

"I thought so." She slips her knickers off all the way and drops them off the side of the bed before she straddles Niall's chest, lifting herself up on her knees as she looks down at him. "Your hands stay at your sides or on my thighs, understand?"

"I understand, Mistress." Niall slowly lifts his arms and brings his hands up to wrap around Louis' thighs, feeling slightly overwhelmed by finally being able to touch.

"Good boy." She smirks as she starts to lower herself onto Niall's mouth. "Let's see what that tongue of yours can do."

Niall moans as soon as Louis touches his mouth and eagerly presses his tongue inside of her, tightening his grip on her thighs at the same time. She gasps, a soft noise of surprise that seems to slip out without her meaning it to, but the sound is gone as quickly as it came. One of her hands slides into Niall's hair and he moans against her again when her fingers curl into a tight grip.

"Such an eager boy," she murmurs with a breathless laugh. "D'you think the sooner you make me come, the sooner you get to come?"

Niall moans in surprise when Louis suddenly lifts her hips and he can't reach her with his mouth. He stares up at her with wide, glassy eyes and she loosens her grip on his hair and runs her fingers through it soothingly.

"That's not how this works." Louis grabs a handful of Niall's hair roughly and he gasps at the same time his hips buck up and his cock slaps against his stomach. He lets out a pained groan but he shudders through a wave of pleasure at the same time, his mind and body torn between the two sensations.

"Mistress, please," he begs, "let me."

"Let you what?" Louis asks as she trails her free hand down her own stomach until she reaches her clit, keeping her eyes locked with Niall's as she starts touching herself.

"Let me make you come," he pleads in a strained voice as he tries to lift his head up to reach her. Louis' hand in his hair prevents him from getting too far and she moans softly as her fingers slip from her clit down into her cunt. "Please."

"Greedy," she replies as she fucks down onto her own fingers once, twice before pulling them out of herself and pressing them against Niall's mouth. He opens wide to suck them in, moaning around them and whining when they're pulled away just as fast.

"Mistress," he moans brokenly, his hips grinding back against the bed in the most desperate way. It does nothing to quell the ache in his dick but he finds that he's less preoccupied with his own need to come when he has Louis hovering over his mouth. He's filled with the need to please her, to get her off using only his mouth, if only she'd _let_ him. " _Please_."

"How can I say no to that?" she coos before lowering herself back down onto Niall's mouth, letting him lick and suck at her with renewed vigor.

Niall moans against her as though she's the best thing he's ever tasted, digging his fingers into the meat of her thighs to keep her right where he wants her. Her breaths grow ragged and uneven but the grip on his hair never loosens. Niall looks up at her as best he can with his face buried against her and moans at the sight of her flushed skin, the way her breasts heave with every breath she takes.

"You _do_ like this, don't you?" she asks with a laugh that breaks off into a moan. "Next time I'll tie your wrists together, maybe your ankles too. Just sit on your face until I can't sit up straight anymore."

Niall moans and kneads his fingers against her thighs, trying to draw her even closer.

"Bet you'd let me use your cock too, wouldn't you? Let me fuck myself with it over and over without letting you come. But you'd need help with that, I'm sure." She breaks off to moan as she starts rocking her hips against Niall's face, her voice growing tighter as she draws closer to her orgasm. "Maybe I'd use a blindfold too, not let you see what I was going to do."

Louis gasps suddenly and lets loose one long cry of ecstasy as she comes, riding it out for a few seconds afterwards before she lifts herself off of Niall's mouth and climbs off of him. Niall licks his lips and turns his head to look at her, dropping his arms back down to his sides as his eyes roam her body hungrily. He already wants to get her off again, thinking maybe this time with his fingers inside her and his mouth on her breasts.

"Would you like that, boy?" Louis asks breathlessly. "Not seeing how I'd use you?"

"If you like, Mistress." He clears his throat, his voice sounding a little hoarse from lack of use. "Like seeing you come, though."

"You do, don't you?" She laughs. "S'pose I could film it," she says as she sits up on her knees and takes Niall's right hand, guiding it between her legs. "Let you watch it after, let you see how you pleased me."

" _Yes_ ," Niall breathes out quickly, "yes, Mistress, I--I want that."

"What a good boy." Louis closes her eyes as she helps Niall push two of his fingers inside of herself, spreading her legs so that she's straddling his right thigh. "Touch yourself, but don't come."

"Mistress--" Niall gasps as he touches his cock, already feeling like he's going to come on the spot. "I… I can't--"

"Color?" she asks sharply, pausing her hips even as she throbs around Niall's fingers.

"G-Green, it's green, Mistress." Niall whimpers as he squeezes his cock. "But--"

"Be a good boy, then," she replies as she starts fucking herself on Niall's fingers, "and don't come."

Niall can't hold in the whines and whimpers that escape his mouth as he wanks as slowly as he can to ensure he won't come. He bites and licks at his lips in an attempt to stay quiet but it does little if anything at all to keep the noises at bay.

"Sit up," Louis commands, and Niall quickly obeys. She cups her hand against the side of his jaw and thumbs at his bottom lip as she says, "do you need something to keep your mouth occupied, boy?"

"M'sorry, Mistress," he whispers, dropping his eyes down. He can't help but stare at her breasts and he licks his lips again as he imagines what they must taste like. Louis' hand drops from his neck and within seconds her bra is falling away from her breasts and Niall's mouth goes dry. "Mistress…"

"If you can't stay quiet, I'll have to make you," she says as she arches her back, thrusting her chest out towards Niall who quickly latches his mouth to one of her nipples and moans around it. "That's it," she breathes out with a soft moan.

Niall hardly even notices Louis guiding a third finger inside of herself or pressing his thumb against her clit, his mind taken over by so many different pleasurable feelings spread out across his body. He notices when she comes for the second time, mostly because she curls both of her fists into his hair and lets out a loud, gasping moan as he continues to suck on her nipple.

"That's enough," she says as she pulls his head back, forcing his mouth to separate from her breast. Her eyes dart to where his hand is still wrapped around his cock, stroking it slowly as his arm shakes with the effort it takes to keep from coming.

"Mistress," Niall whispers.

"What d'you want, boy?" she asks softly. "D'you want to come?"

"Please," he begs, "please, Mistress."

"Alright," she replies. Niall lets out a soft moan and his eyes drop back down to her breasts without even meaning to and he feels a tingle of shame as she laughs. "Go on, boy."

Niall moans in relief as he puts his mouth on her other breast as he speeds up his hand, hardly taking more than twenty seconds to bring himself off. Louis inhales sharply when he comes, mostly because his teeth scrape against her sensitive nipple as he comes in pulses all over his hand and thighs.

"Good boy," she breathes out as he pulls away and looks up at her with glossy eyes and a dopey smile. She gently lays him out on his back and leaves his side for two minutes to grab a wet cloth to clean him up before she lays down next to him and takes his hand in her own.

It takes around ten minutes for Niall to start feeling like himself again, noticeable by the way he starts to squirm under Louis' gaze. He forces himself to look away from her, if only because his eyes are still drawn to her naked breasts more than her face.

"Not bad for a first go," she says as she squeezes his hand.

"Yeah," he answers with a low chuckle. "It was… something."

"What you expected?"

"I…" Niall laughs again. "I don't think I could've ever expected that."

"Is that good or bad?" Louis asks.

"It was incredible." Niall shakes his head. "Way more than I could've ever asked for."

Louis beams. "Excellent." She sits up and reaches for her bra, wincing a little when it drags against her nipples as she slips it back on. She gives Niall a look over her shoulder and he immediately blushes.

"Sorry," he mumbles. "I just…"

"Got quite the oral fixation, don't you?" Louis replies with a smirk.

"S'pose so."

Louis laughs. "I can work with that."

*

Niall's sitting in the waiting room of his therapist's office, nervously waiting for his appointment by chewing on his thumb. He doesn't know why he's nervous, it's not his first appointment, but for some reason just entering the building fills him with a sense of anxiety that he hasn't figured out how to shake.

He's thankful that there's nobody else in the waiting room to witness his state of unease but it also means that there's no real way for Niall to distract himself. None of the magazines on the table are appealing to him and per his therapist's request he left his phone in his car downstairs so he can't even mess around on the internet while he waits.

Every time he pulls his thumb away from his mouth he lasts perhaps twenty seconds before it's right back where it started, only now he hears the echo of Louis' voice in his head: _got quite the oral fixation, don't you?_

Niall shivers and grips his thighs with both hands, whispering _keep it together_ to himself over and over until he's startled by a door opening. He looks up and sees Joe, his therapist, smiling at him as he stands in the doorway.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Yeah," Niall replies, surprised to hear the how sure his voice sounds when the rest of him is barely holding together.

It's easier to talk to Joe now than it was during his first session even with the nerves that gather when Niall enters the building. Joe doesn't press, he doesn't badger, he just sits and listens to whatever comes into Niall's head and offers advice when necessary.

Some days they don't even bring up the reason why Niall's in therapy, and Niall thinks those days are his favorites. He doesn't always want to be reminded of his failures.

"You seem a little agitated today," Joe says carefully. "Anything on your mind?"

"A lot of things, I guess." Niall shrugs. He can't stop thinking about Louis but he can't imagine that getting into a BDSM relationship was what Joe meant when he suggested Niall should try something new.

"Anything you want to share?"

"Just… thinking." Niall sighs. "Like, what it means to be happy, and all that. Kind of been wondering about that lately."

"What do you think it means to be happy?"

"I dunno, like… I think I am? Like, if you're not sad, then you've gotta be happy, right?"

"In a perfect world, maybe." Joe chuckles. "But the real world doesn't always work like that."

"Yeah, I know." Niall drops his head down and twists his fingers together. "I know that, I do."

"What makes you happy, Niall?"

Niall laughs. "Football. Music, my mates, just… having a laugh?" He shuts his mouth before he says Louis' name. It's only been the one time, surely he can't include that yet.

"I'm glad you said football. I know you've been a bit worried about going back for training in a couple weeks."

"Yeah," Niall mumbles. "Yeah, that's… it'll be different."

"Of course it will. There's no way it couldn't be, given what happened. But the important thing to remember is that you're not alone, Niall. You can rely on your fellow teammates to help you because you all went through this together, whether or not it feels like that."

"It's weird, like… I hear what you're saying and in my head it makes sense. But then it feels like there's this other part of me that literally can't understand how anyone could be feeling what I'm feeling. And some days that part of me is so much louder than the rest that it's just…" Niall sighs. "It's not fair."

"Of course it's not fair. What happened is completely unfair, but it's also an unfortunate part of life and the difference between those two parts of yourself is that you know one is completely irrational and you're not letting yourself fall victim to it. You're strong, Niall, and you know it."

Joe's words fill Niall with a sense of calm for which he's grateful. He knows this is Joe's job and he was trained to say the right thing but it doesn't stop Niall from being thankful to have him as his therapist.

Towards the end of their session, Joe asks if there's anything else Niall wants to talk about before they break for a week. Niall hesitates, just like he had before when Joe asked him what makes him happy. He wants to bring up Louis, he wants to know if what he's doing is right or okay or whatever, but he can't form the words.

Instead he looks at Joe and shakes his head. He'll just have to wait and see if he's brave enough to mention her during his next session.

He doesn't expect that by _not_ telling Joe about it he's suddenly filled with the need to talk about it to someone. As he's leaving the office he texts Harry to see if he's free and as he waits for a response, he scrolls through his contact list until he reaches Louis' name.

Niall swallows hard as he stares at her phone number, feeling an itch start under her skin that makes him uncomfortably warm even as he sits in his car with the AC on. His finger hovers over the call button but he can't bring himself to press it. He doesn't let himself admit that he wants it, that he _needs_ to see her again. His seemingly rational side tells him that he doesn't need another scene so soon, that he had plenty to last him for quite a while.

He jumps when he gets a text back from Harry, giving him a time and place to meet him for lunch, and once Niall's heart slows back down to its normal rate he sighs. _Maybe it'll be good to talk it out_ , he thinks to himself.

Of course, talking about it with Harry proves to just make Niall want it again even more, perhaps due the fact that he gets progressively more embarrassed as Harry presses him for details.

Niall knows this is his doing, that he's the one who reached out to Harry and he's the one who _wants_ to talk about it and he thought that Harry would be a wise choice since he's been through this before. As the conversation progresses, Niall starts to wonder if he's made a mistake. He can't help but think the only person he should be talking about this with is Louis, but he still can't bring himself to call her.

"It was… good?" Niall squirms a little in his seat and chooses to avoid looking Harry in the eye as he fusses with the straw in his drink. Harry chose the restaurant for lunch, a bistro that Niall had never heard of but had a decent enough menu and a nice atmosphere, but now Niall's wishing he'd never agreed to this lunch in the first place.

"Just good?"

"Really good?" Niall offers, starting to feel embarrassed. "What d'you want me to say, Harry?"

"D'you think you'll do it again? She wasn't too rough on you, was she?"

"Harry!" Niall laughs nervously as he glances around to ensure nobody's eavesdropping on their conversation. "W-Why d'you ask?"

Harry shrugs one shoulder and gives Niall a wry smile. "Lou can be a bit intense at times."

"Did… did you and her ever?" Niall trails off and swallows deeply, unsure whether he actually wants to hear the answer to this question. He tries to shake it off before Harry even speaks because some rational part of his mind reminds him that Louis isn't _his_ and even if she was, it shouldn't matter who she's been with in the past.

"For a while, yeah." Harry shrugs again. "Til I left the scene, obviously."

"Was she the reason?" Niall asks quietly, but his question is forgotten as Harry repeats his demand for details.

"Are you just embarrassed by it or did you genuinely not enjoy it?" Harry asks with a frown.

"No, shit, I…" Niall sighs. "I did enjoy it, alright? I… I really enjoyed it." Niall shakes his head. "Didn't know that's what I wanted, to be honest."

"Isn't that a good thing? She's helping you discover a side of yourself that you didn't know existed."

"Yeah, but, how's it gonna work? What happens if I meet someone and she doesn't want the same things I do? You saw how it ended with Laura, I--"

"Niall," Harry interrupts calmly. "You'll find someone, I know you will. Don't worry about that for now, though, okay? Just enjoy what you're doing now." He wiggles his eyebrows. "Because you are, right?"

"Shut up, for fuck's sake," Niall says with a laugh. "You're such a pain."

Still, Harry presses Niall for further information and if only to shut him up, Niall eventually relents. He doesn't go into excruciating detail, nor does he tell Harry all that he checked off on the list Louis gave him because frankly, it's none of Harry's fucking business.

That, and because just talking about his night with Louis in the abstract makes that itch Niall feels grow even bigger than before. His phone burns a hole in his pocket but he waits until Harry excuses himself to the loo before he takes it out and opens a new text addressed to Louis.

His heart is pounding and his fingers are itching to write something, anything - but he still just doesn't know how to start.

**_hey_ **

**_hi_ **

**_it's niall_ **

**_what're you doing_ **

**_can i see you again_ **

"Fuck," Niall grumbles as he erases his text for the fifth time, quickly glancing up to make sure Harry isn't on his way back to the table just yet.

**_i've been thinking about some things, wondered if you might have some advice?_ **

Niall groans but sends the text anyway, knowing full well that it doesn't even come close to saying anything useful and he fully expects Louis to either ignore it or tell him he's an idiot.

**_i have to admit, i didn't think you'd wait this long to text me, niall._ **

**_my advice depends on what you've been thinking. care to share?_ **

He inhales sharply as he reads her quick responses. He shivers as he rereads the first and wonders if he should've texted her earlier, if there's some rule of thumb between Doms and subs that he's already gone and broken without realizing it.

Niall bites his bottom lip as he types out his reply, deleting and re-typing several times before he cuts himself off and presses send. He can't help but be vague, he feels like it's impossible for him to actually say what it is that he wants from her.

**_thinking about the list, what we haven't tried yet. wondered if maybe we could try some more soon?_ **

The little reply bubble pops up sooner than Niall expects it to and he finds himself holding his breath as he squirms in his seat, desperate for an answer.

**_if that's what you want, boy, you have to ask for it properly._ **

Niall lets out a soft whimper as he reads it, he hadn't expected her to slip into her Dom role so soon but _fuck_ if he isn't glad she did. He swallows hard as he starts typing out his response, but he only gets as far as **_Mistress…_ ** before Harry reappears at their table and startles Niall enough that he accidentally hits send.

"You alright?" Harry asks as he takes in Niall's look of mild panic and the light sheen of sweat that's appeared on his brow.

"M'fine," Niall replies with an uneasy smile. He forces himself to lock his phone screen and set it down on the table, knowing full well that if Harry were to figure out he's texting Louis he'd lose his phone in a heartbeat.

"What're your plans for the rest of the day?" Harry asks as he catches the attention of their waitress and signals for the check. Niall's eyes flick over to his phone screen as it lights up with a text from Louis, but he quickly looks back at Harry so as to not draw attention to himself.

"Dunno," he answers, "probably just go home and sit around on me arse."

Harry laughs as Niall's phone lights up with another text. Niall's eyes are drawn to it again and his hand actually twitches, but he doesn't make a move to reach for his phone.

"Surprised you're not trying to organize some charity do for kids on the Arsenal pitch or something," Harry teases lightheartedly.

"Nah, that's next week." Niall swallows harshly and tries to subtly check his phone again, but there's no third text from Louis. He's not sure whether to be disappointed or relieved, but that all goes out the window when the screen lights up again, this time from Louis calling him.

He quickly snatches it off the table but hesitates answering it, which catches Harry's attention.

"Who's that?"

Niall stares at him for a second before he blurts out the first thing he can think of, "me mum! I-I should take this…"

"Maura!" Harry says delightedly, "give it here, I'd love to say hello."

"No! I'll, um," Niall laughs awkwardly as he stands up, "I'll tell her you say hi. Back in a minute."

He turns away from Harry's confused face and walks towards the loo as quickly as he can, praying the call doesn't drop before he can answer it.

"Mistress," he says breathlessly into the phone, his heart pounding as he locks himself in the loo and tips his head back against the wall. "Mistress, I--"

"I don't appreciate being ignored, boy." She huffs.

"Wasn't," Niall pants, "didn't mean to, I swear."

"Are you touching yourself?" she asks curiously.

"No," he says through gritted teeth, not having thought about his dick until this very moment. Now he can feel it throb between his legs and he forces himself to ball his free hand into a fist to prevent himself from touching.

"Good boys don't touch without permission," Louis purrs. "Are you a good boy?"

"Yes, Mistress, I-I'm good."

"Good. Now, was there something you wanted to ask me?"

*

This time around when Niall's waiting for Louis to show up, he's not pacing around because he's nervous. He's pacing around because he wants to know what's taking Louis _so damn long_ to get here. He's felt on edge ever since their conversation in the loo and he's fairly certain he's been half-hard since then too. It had been terribly awkward saying goodbye to Harry after Niall had tried and failed to explain away his odd behavior when Louis called, in fact Niall's nearly one hundred percent positive that Harry didn't believe him for even a second.

Niall really can't keep anything to himself, it seems.

He practically leaps off the couch when the doorbell rings, only pausing for a moment to take in a deep breath before he opens the door and sees Louis standing on the other side.

She flashes a brilliant smile at him as she says, "hello, Niall."

"Hi," he replies through a deep breath. It shouldn't thrill him to hear her say his name as much as it does, but there doesn't seem to be much he can do about that.

"Have you eaten?" she asks as she steps into Niall's flat.

"Yeah, not too long ago, why?"

Louis smirks. "Because what I've got planned may take a while."

Niall shivers as a breathless laugh falls from his lips and he ducks his head to hide the pink in his cheeks from Louis. She lifts her hand to pinch his cheek and then she pats it lightly.

"Do you need more time or are you ready now?"

"I'm ready," Niall answers quickly, dropping his voice as he adds, "Mistress."

"Good boy." She takes off her jacket and drapes it over the back of the couch while Niall stands still and waits for further instruction. "Have you got your kit here?"

"My-- d'you mean my footie kit?" Niall gestures towards his room, "it's in my--"

"Fetch it, would you?"

"Yes, Mistress." Niall starts towards his bedroom but then pauses and turns back to Louis, "should, um, should I get my cleats too?"

Louis turns her head towards Niall and hums thoughtfully.

"Wouldn't want you to scuff up these nice floors, would I? Thank you for asking, boy."

Niall flushes deeply. "Yes, Mistress."

There's a shake in Niall's hands that he can't seem to control as he fumbles around in his closet for his kit, his heart pounding as his body thrums with excitement over what's going to happen today. He remembers that Louis had mentioned wanting to see him in his footie kit last time but he hadn't expected her to request it so soon.

He pauses with the shirt and shorts clutched in his hands, wondering for a moment whether he should put them on now and leave his normal clothes in his room. Louis' voice echoes in his head - _fetch it, would you?_ \- and he closes his eyes for a moment.

She asked him to fetch it, not put it on. He doesn't want to disappoint her.

Niall walks back into the living room, foolishly thinking that he's prepared for whatever Louis has in store for him, and he comes to a dead stop when he sees her. In the few minutes he's been gone, Louis has taken off her regular clothes and is standing in the middle of the room in a dark blue strapless bustier with matching stockings and garter. She's also moved the couch away from the coffee table and Niall tears his eyes away from her long enough to see that there's a cushion set up on the floor in front of her and he swallows hard.

"Come here," she commands. Niall stumbles in his effort to comply but Louis doesn't laugh, she just waits patiently for Niall to reach her.

"For you, Mistress," he says as he holds out his kit to her, hoping against hope that this is what she wanted.

She raises her eyebrows but takes the offered clothes. "Good boy. Take off your clothes."

Niall quickly strips off his shirt and tugs down his jeans, kicking them to the side as he stands in front of her in just his pants. Her eyes drop down to below his waist, linger for a moment, and then they dart back up to his.

"Those too."

Niall inhales as he reaches down and slides his pants down over his thighs, bending over to pull them off completely. It's only then that he notices a small detail regarding Louis' outfit that he'd somehow missed earlier - she's not wearing any knickers.

"Mistress," he breathes out as his mouth starts to water, the memory of her taste flooding his brain and making him grow hard already.

"Such a good boy," she murmurs as she lays his shorts over her shoulder and widens the neck of his shirt before she steps forward to slip it over his head. Niall hates the idea of putting clothes back on with Louis around, but the look in her eyes when he pulls the hem down to his waist is all he needs to know that this will be worth it.

Louis slips his shorts off of her shoulder and holds them open for him to step into, letting the waistband snap against his skin once they've been pulled up high enough. He gasps a little at the feeling and shudders, his cock twitching under the fabric of his shorts.

"Kneel for me," she whispers as she puts her hands on Niall's shoulders and applies a gentle yet firm pressure until he sinks to his knees, making sure to pull the cushion underneath himself. "Good boy," she repeats.

Niall's breath catches as Louis runs her fingers along the curve of his jaw. Kneeling puts him at just the right height for eating her out and try as he might, he can't tear his eyes away from what's right in front of him. He unconsciously licks his lips and Louis presses her thumb against his bottom lip as she chuckles under her breath, the sound making goosebumps pop up across Niall's skin.

"Just as eager as last time, I see." Louis turns her hips to the side and slowly begins walking around Niall until she comes to a stop directly behind him. He shakes with the effort it takes to keep from turning around and his heart starts pounding faster as he feels the warmth from Louis' body as she draws even closer to him.

Niall bites his lip as he tries to hold back the moan that threatens to escape when Louis trails her fingers across his shoulders. She lightly presses against his shoulder blades, pushing him forward until he bends at his waist and braces himself on his hands.

"Mistress?" he says in a shaky voice, partially from the tingling sensation in his spine as Louis traces the line with one finger, but mostly due to the fact that he has no idea what she's planning.

"Color?" she asks.

"Green?"

"Are you asking or telling?" she asks, her voice sharper this time. "The truth, boy. Color."

"Y-Yellow," Niall chokes out, dropping his head down as he exhales sharply as though a weight's been lifted from his shoulders. Louis pulls her hand away and for a moment Niall has no idea where she is. When he lifts his head again he sees that she's in front of him again, kneeling as she looks at him with concern.

"Do you want to stop?" she asks.

"No," he answers honestly. "Just, sorta, wanna know what you're doing."

"Thought you might like the mystery," Louis says with a small frown. Niall's about to apologize when she speaks up again, "I should've asked beforehand if that was alright, and I'm sorry I didn't."

"It's okay, Mistress, I--"

"You don't have to call me that right now," Louis says with a soft laugh. "Consider this a sort of time out, okay?"

"Okay," Niall breathes.

"Good." Louis smiles. "Now, you said you wanted to know what I'm doing, yeah?"

Niall nods and laughs a little under his breath. "S'not that I don't trust you, it's just…"

"A little unnerving being on your hands and knees for the first time?"

"A bit, yeah."

"Wonder what you would've done if I'd just spanked you without a warning, then."

Niall shivers. "Is that…"

"What I was planning?" Louis grins. "Yeah. Interested?" Niall nods eagerly and Louis laughs again. "Good boy."

Niall smiles at her as she gets to her feet, but his eyes immediately drop down below her waist and suddenly all the nervousness from a few minutes earlier melts away and is replaced with a desire that fills Niall's chest and aches.

"Gonna keep your kit on," she says as her lip curls into a smirk. "Get you a bit messy. Color?"

"Green, Mistress."

"Good boy," she repeats before she steps around Niall and goes to stand behind him again. Niall jumps a little when he feels her hand on his waist and he shivers as it slides down over the curve of his arse and she squeezes.

Somehow he's not expecting her to start as quickly as she does, pulling her hand away from his cheek and bringing it back mere seconds later with a loud smack. Niall gasps and rocks forward, torn between the stinging pain in his arse and the throbbing of his dick as it hardens in his shorts.

"Keep count, boy."

"One," he grunts as he sticks his arse out, offering himself up for the next slap. The second hurts just as much as the first if not more, but it's doing exactly what Niall wanted this all for: it's taking him out of his own head.

All of his usual worries are gone and all that's left is the need to do well, to impress Louis and please her. All he wants is to be her good boy.

After fifteen slaps Louis pauses for a moment, listening to Niall pant as he anxiously awaits the next one. Instead of feeling the palm of her hand come down hard against his cheek, he shivers as her fingers tuck under his waistband and slowly pull his shorts down to expose his bare arse.

"What a lovely color," she murmurs as she runs her fingers down the curve of his arse. She cups one cheek with her palm but doesn't squeeze, yet just the skin on skin contact is enough to make Niall whimper.

Louis has only pulled his shorts down far enough to look at his arse, leaving his cock trapped as it strains against the taut fabric. Niall can't help the small jerk of his hips that pulls his arse away from Louis' hand and gives only a moment of relief for his cock, but he knows as soon as it's over he's going to pay for that.

"Thought you wanted to be good," Louis says as she tugs Niall's shorts back up roughly, snapping the elastic waistband against his skin to make him flinch.

"M'sorry, Mistress," Niall gasps as Louis walks around to his front, sliding one hand into his hair to pull him up onto his knees as she tugs his head back so he looks up at her. "M'sorry, wanna be good."

"I was gonna reward you," she says as she takes a step closer to him, keeping a firm grip on his hair as his eyes flicker down to what she's teasing him with. "Give you a taste, know how much you like that."

"Mistress," he begs softly with a lick of his lips, his hands curling into fists at his sides so he doesn't reach out for her. "Please."

"Don't deserve it now, do you?" Niall whimpers and Louis tightens her fingers in his hair. " _Do you_?"

"No," he cries, "no, Mistress, I-I don't."

"That's right," she says as she lets go of Niall's hair and smoothes it back down against his head. "Only good boys get rewards."

"I'll be good, Mistress, please," he begs softly. Louis hums.

"S'pose there is something you could do for me, boy." She puts a finger under his chin and tilts his head up so he's looking her straight in the eye. "Think you can handle it?"

"Yes," he answers immediately. "Yes, please, Mistress."

"Take a seat there," she orders, pointing to the center seat on the couch. Niall quickly obeys even as she turns away from him and fetches her bag. He sits patiently with his hands at his sides, gripping the sofa cushions instead of touching himself so he doesn't get scolded for being a naughty boy. His arse throbs underneath him from his spanking but he pushes the pain aside because he knows whatever's coming next will be well worth it.

Louis pulls something from her bag and tosses it at him, but Niall isn't quick enough to catch it in his current state so instead he watches it fall into his lap and he gulps when he realizes what it is: a condom.

"Mistress?" he asks, looking up from the condom in his lap to see her slowly walking towards him.

"Pull down your shorts, but not all the way," she says, the look on her face having changed from a disapproving frown to a sly smile. "And put that on, but don't touch yourself too much."

"Yes, Mistress," Niall replies. He pulls his shorts down so the waistband is stretched around his upper thighs but his cock is free. He takes a deep breath as he rips open the condom wrapper and tries to roll it on without getting himself too close, but he's already so hard that even the slightest touch floods him with relief and feels absolutely fantastic.

"That's enough," Louis says in a sharp tone and Niall immediately pulls his hand away from his cock. He panics a little because he could've sworn he wasn't breaking any rules, he was trying to be good, but when he looks up at Louis he sees she's smiling a little and his heartbeat slows down a little.

That is, until she climbs onto his lap.

"Can you be good for me?" she asks softly as she puts one hand on his shoulder and wraps the other around his cock. Niall inhales sharply as she squeezes the base, holding it with a firm grip as she lifts her hips and positions herself over him so the head of his cock rubs against her.

"Y-Yes," Niall says, desperately wanting to be even though he's not exactly sure if he can keep the promise.

"If you're good for me and don't come, I'll reward you later," she whispers with a breathy gasp as she slowly sinks down onto his cock. Niall bites his bottom lip and holds back a whimper at the feeling of her enveloping him so tightly, now absolutely sure that it's going to be impossible for him to be a good boy no matter how much he wants to be.

"Yes, Mistress," he chokes out regardless.

"Hands on my hips, boy." Louis moans a little as Niall complies and she starts moving her hips a little faster against him. "That's it, good boy."

Louis grips both of Niall's shoulders, her fingers caught in the fabric of his jersey as she tips her head back and moans louder as she uses Niall to get herself off. Niall's eyes rake over her body from her exposed neck to her breasts bouncing within her bustier and then further down to where he can watch his cock disappear inside of her over and over again.

He digs his fingers into her hips and lets out a soft moan of his own when Louis gasps, and he desperately wishes he could move his hands and touch her wherever he pleases. His mouth waters as he looks at her chest again and longs to have her fully naked in his lap so he could suck on her tits and help make her come even faster.

"Mistress," he whispers brokenly as she shifts her position and pushes his cock even deeper inside of herself.

"Be good," she replies breathlessly. "Tell me if you're going to come."

"I won't," he grunts, "I won't come, Mistress."

"Good. Good boy," Louis gasps. "Fuck, such a good boy for me, aren't you? Letting me use you like this, just like you wanted."

"Yes," Niall gasps, barely loud enough to be heard.

"Should I reward you for being such a good boy, hmm?" Louis slows down, keeping her hips pressed against Niall's so his cock is buried deep inside of her as she starts up a slow grind that rubs her clit against him. She takes her hands off of his shoulders and arches her back as her fingers undo the first few clips on the front of her bustier, pulling it open just enough for her breasts to come loose.

She doesn't say anything but she smiles when Niall's eyes widen and she cups his jaw with one of her hands, bringing his mouth to her breasts and letting out a loud moan when he encircles one of her nipples with his lips.

"Knew you'd like that," she moans as she resumes her previous pace, cradling the back of Niall's head to keep his mouth on her breast. "Love sucking on my tits, don't you, boy?"

Niall mumbles a response around her nipple, torn between wanting to answer but not wanting to pull away. For a moment he expects her to pull his head back so he can speak properly but instead she just laughs and clenches around his cock, making him whimper and suck harder.

"Should've filmed this, wanna watch you see how desperate you get. Definitely going to do it next time." Louis moans and starts to shake as her orgasm approaches, and Niall switches to her other nipple and tries to concentrate on _not_ coming when she does.

It's getting harder and harder for him not to let go, she feels so good around his cock and he'd love nothing more than to come with her in his lap and his mouth on her tits. A warmth starts pooling in the pit of his stomach and he cries out as he pulls back from her breast.

"Mistress," he pants, "Mistress, I can't-- I'm gonna--"

Louis immediately sits up, pulling off his cock completely and hovers above his lap on her knees as she lets out a broken moan and grips Niall's shoulder for balance.

"Fingers," she snaps, "now, boy."

Niall doesn't hesitate before slipping three fingers deep inside of her as he puts his mouth back on her at the same time. Louis moans loudly and grabs his hair, twisting and pulling as she comes while fucking herself on his fingers.

"Good boy," she says after a few moments of silence as she tries to catch her breath. Niall has his forehead pressed to the valley between her breasts as he too tries to breathe normally. His cock is positively throbbing between his legs with the condom still on and the memory of being inside Louis so fresh in his mind.

Louis pulls Niall's fingers out of her and slides off of his lap to stand on shaky legs while Niall just stares at her as he waits for her to tell him what to do next. He wants to touch her again, he wants to come with her voice in his ear telling him he's good.

"Take your kit off and follow me," she says before she walks away, heading for Niall's bedroom. It takes him a second to remember how to use his limbs, but he pulls his shorts off the rest of the way and his shirt over his head as fast as he can before he follows in her footsteps.

When he reaches the doorway to his bedroom he finds Louis lying in the middle of his bed, her bustier on the floor along with her stockings and garter.

"Come here, boy." She crooks a finger at him and smiles as he comes closer, crawling onto the bed but staying near her feet. "Closer."

"Yes, Mistress," he murmurs as he crawls on top of her, wincing when his cock brushes against her bare skin underneath him. Louis lifts a hand to trace the lines of his mouth and smiles at him.

"Want you to get me off with that tongue of yours," she purrs, "and if you're good, I'll let you come after, understood?"

"Yes, Mistress," he repeats, brushing his tongue against the pad of her thumb before she pulls her hand away from his mouth and gives him an expectant look.

He slides down the bed and puts his hands on her thighs to gently spread her legs, creating a spot for himself so he can please her. He tilts his hips to the side so his cock doesn't touch the mattress as he lays down and gently touches the tip of his tongue against Louis' clit. She inhales sharply but doesn't scold him so he does it again with a little more pressure this time as he curls his hands underneath her thighs to keep her legs spread.

"What a talented tongue you have, boy," Louis says with a pleased hum. "Like to show off, do you?"

Niall shifts his hips a little but keeps his mouth busy, moving down to push his tongue inside of her just to hear her breath hitch.

"Knew it, _fuck_ , I knew it. Bet you'd love to show everyone how good you are, hmm? I could take you out, parade you around, then push your head between my legs and you'd love it, wouldn't you?"

Niall moans against her as his grip on her thighs tightens and she shakes under his touch. He lifts his mouth away from her for a moment and breathes against her clit before he attaches his lips around it and starts sucking.

"Good boys don't tease," Louis whimpers and Niall sucks harder as he massages his tongue against her. She's starting to shake underneath him, her second orgasm coming on a lot sooner than her first one had and Niall fucks her with his tongue to send her over the edge.

He keeps licking her as she comes down, savoring her taste until she pulls her hips away from him. He looks up at her to see her gesture for him to come closer and so he crawls on top of her again. This time around she wraps her hand around his cock and he groans as she pulls the condom off and starts stroking him as she slides down the bed underneath him.

"Been such a good boy for me," she says as she strokes him faster, lying close enough to his cock that her arms brush against her own breasts on the upstroke. "Told me when you got too close so I could stop, even though I was just about to come."

"Yes, Mistress," Niall says in a choked voice as he shuts his eyes.

"Was hoping you could last til after I came, would've let you come inside me." Niall whines at the thought and wishes he'd been strong enough to hold off. "Don't worry, boy, we'll work on that, won't we?"

"Yes," Niall cries out, "yes, Mistress!"

"Good boy," Louis says, her voice slightly muffled. Niall looks down just in time to see Louis to pull her fingers out of her mouth and start touching herself as she keeps jerking him off. "Want you to come on me, show me how good you can be."

"I can," Niall gasps, "I can, Mistress, I'm good, I'm--" Niall shouts as his orgasm hits, painting Louis' stomach and tits with his come. She keeps stroking him through it and when he hears her gasp and moan he knows that she's just come for a third time and he wishes he'd been inside of her for it.

"Good boy," she repeats softly, dragging her thumb across the head of Niall's cock even though he hisses because he's so sensitive.

She lets go of his cock and slides back up the bed as Niall collapses to one side, exhausted and sated from all their play. He can hardly keep his eyes open but it doesn't stop him from wincing when his arse presses against the mattress and a sharp pain shoots through him.

"Might wanna lay on your side for a bit," Louis says quietly.

"Might do," Niall replies with a low chuckle as he rolls onto his side, smiling contently at her as his eyes flicker shut.

He doesn't even realize he's fallen asleep until he wakes up a while later, disoriented when he sees that Louis isn't in bed with him anymore. He rolls onto his back and winces again at the dull throb of his arse, but it's forgotten in a second when he sees Louis across the room.

She's standing in front of the mirror, eyes on herself so she doesn't realize Niall's woken up yet. Her legs are bare but the rest of her is covered up by the jersey Niall was wearing earlier. It just barely covers her bum and even though she fucked his brains out a mere hour ago, Niall's dick takes a keen interest in seeing her in his clothes.

Louis turns to the side to admire herself from another angle and it's then that she realizes Niall's awake and she quickly starts pulling the jersey off.

"No, don't--" Niall chuckles. "Looks good on you."

"Sorry, I just…" Louis blushes. "Never worn any proper kit before, have I?" She shakes her head and drops the shirt onto the floor before she walks over to the bed and crawls onto it next to Niall. "How's your bum?"

"Hurts a bit," Niall admits. Truth be told, he'd forgotten about it until she mentioned it - too busy being preoccupied with the way Louis looked in his jersey. "Not too much, though."

"Good," Louis answers. "A bit of lotion will help if it bothers you."

"Thanks." Niall's eyes drift across her bare skin before they snap back up to her face and he laughs, embarrassed. "That was fun."

"Good." Louis grins. "Next time will be even better."

*

Niall was positive that the second time with Louis would've been enough to last him at least a week. His arse stays tender for a few days after, a constant reminder of what they'd done in the living room as if just walking through his flat wasn't enough. That night after Louis left, Niall picked his jersey up off the floor with the intent of tossing it into his laundry basket until he caught a whiff of Louis' perfume still clinging to the fabric.

It's been almost five days since he had Louis in his bed, laundry day having come and gone, and he still hasn't washed the jersey.

Another thing Niall hasn't done is wank. It was alright for the first day or two after the scene with Louis because he felt so sexually satisfied that he hadn't gotten the urge to wank, but now at nearly a week he's starting to feel like he's wound just a little tighter than normal. The problem is, every time he thinks about wanking he hears Louis' voice in his head telling him _good boys don't touch without permission._

It's just… it's not even a thing they'd discussed, really. Niall knows he doesn't _need_ Louis' permission to wank but for some reason he can't seem to do anything without it. Which is how he ends up in his bed on a Friday night, alone and extremely frustrated with himself as he stares at Louis' phone number in his contact list.

"Just do it," he mutters, "just fuckin' do it already."

His eyes drift from his phone to where his cock is tenting his pants, ready and waiting to be touched. He closes his eyes and tells himself _you don't actually need her permission_ over and over, willing himself to actually believe it.

"Fuck," he grunts, pounding his fist against the bed as he gives up and dials Louis' number. He doesn't even know if she's going to pick up, let alone what he'll actually say if she does.

"Well, hello Niall." Louis' smile is evident in her voice as she greets him and it makes Niall feel warm all over. "And what are you up to on this fine Friday evening?"

"H-Hi," he answers shakily, forcing himself to get a grip as he clears his throat. "Just, uhh, sitting at home."

"Really?"

"In bed," he adds, shutting his eyes tightly as if that will stave off his embarrassment, "in just me pants."

" _Oh_." Louis hums. "I see."

"I just, umm," Niall laughs nervously, "you're probably busy, but, I just wanted… shit, I just--"

"What is it, boy?" Louis slips into her Dom voice and Niall nearly melts with relief.

"Mistress," he groans, "I wanna be good, but I… I need to touch."

"Is that right? How long has it been since you touched?"

"Since…" Niall's voice drops and he squeezes his eyes shut again, "since you were here, Mistress."

"I see," Louis repeats. "Not even a little? One touch, just to take the edge off?"

Niall lets out a shaky breath. "No, Mistress. M'being good."

"You are, aren't you?" Louis hums. "My good boy. Good boys get rewards, don't they?"

"Yes, Mistress." Niall bites his lip and moans a little as he grips his thigh with his free hand, anticipating being told to touch but not going too far.

"Wish I could see it, how desperate you are. You do beg so prettily when you need to be touched."

"Mistress…" Niall whines. The line goes quiet and Niall quickly pulls his phone from his ear to see that Louis hung up on him. Just as he's about to try and call her again, his phone starts ringing with a FaceTime call. His heart pounds as he answers and Louis' face pops up on his screen with a wicked smile spread across her lips.

"That's better, innit?" She grins. "Show me how desperate you are, boy."

"Yes, Mistress," he replies as he switches the camera so it shows his lower half instead of his face, but he keeps his eyes on Louis' face.

"Go on, boy. Take off your pants and touch yourself."

Niall moans when he finally gets a hand on himself, loud and involuntary. He hardly hears anything over the sound of his heart pounding but Louis' laughter carries over everything and he forces himself to concentrate on listening to her.

"That's it, doesn't that feel better?"

"Yes," he groans, "so good, Mistress."

"I can imagine." Louis moans softly, the sound going straight to Niall's dick. "Don't need to imagine how it'd feel inside me, do I? Just have to remember how good it was." Niall watches as Louis touches her mouth as she smiles, sliding her fingers down her chin and neck until they disappear from view and he groans when her eyes slip closed.

"Mistress," he begs.

"Even your fingers felt so good, boy." She moans a little louder this time. "Maybe next time I'll ride your fingers and then your cock. Maybe your face too, would you like that?"

"Yes," Niall groans. "Wanna make you come, Mistress."

"I know you do." She chuckles. "Are you getting close, boy?"

"Y-Yeah," he gasps, "not yet, but--"

"Stop." Niall reluctantly stops moving his hand but keeps it wrapped around himself, praying that she tells him to start going again soon. "Let go and turn the camera back around."

Niall whimpers as he does what he's told and Louis smiles when his face pops up in the little corner of his screen.

"There's my good boy. Keep your hand where I can see it, yeah?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Thought maybe you'd want a little show of your own," she says as she reaches for something out of range of Niall's screen, keeping her camera trained on her face. A moment later she taps the tip of a vibrator against her lips, smiling cheekily before she starts sucking on it.

"Oh, god," Niall groans under his breath. "Mistress…"

"You see, boy," Louis says as she pulls the vibrator out of her mouth and drops it out of view as she gasps softly, "you caught me at just the right time." She tilts the camera down and lets Niall see how she's not wearing any clothing at all. The camera spans the length of her torso right down to her cunt where the vibrator is positioned with just the tip inside of her, like she was waiting until Niall was looking before she pushed it in any further.

Niall's hips jerk as Louis lets out another gasp when she pushes the vibrator further in and turns it on, letting the camera focus on that for another few seconds before she turns it back to her face and lets Niall see how it's affecting her.

"Got it in the mail this morning," she explains between breathy gasps, "wanted to test it out. Much more fun with an audience, innit?"

"Mistress," Niall says, his voice rough with desire. "Wanna touch."

"I know you do, boy. But you have to wait, don't you? Good boys wait." She throws her head back and moans loudly. "M-Maybe next time I'll let you use this on me, hmm? Would you like that, boy?"

"Yes." Niall's mouth waters at the thought. "Wanna."

"How would you use it? Fuck me with it like this?" She laughs and moans. "Or would you press it against my clit and turn it up all the way while you fuck me? Or use it and your mouth at the same time?"

"Whatever you want, Mistress. Want you to come, wanna make you come." Niall groans as Louis gasps and cries out. "Please come, Mistress. Wanna see it."

"Touch yourself," she gasps, "do it, do it, god, oh _god_!"

"Mistress," Niall pants as he starts stroking himself roughly, "wanna touch you, wanna taste you, wanna fuck you."

"Bet you do, you dirty boy. Love seeing your mistress come, don't you? Always wanna make me come, don't even care if you come too."

"Yes," Niall groans, "yes, Mistress, fuck!"

"Are you close? Tell me!"

"Y-Yeah…" Niall squeezes the base of his cock then rubs his thumb over the head and shudders violently, "so close, Mistress, please, can I come?"

"No," she grunts. "Don't come, be good."

"Mistress," Niall sobs, "I need to come, please…"

"Don't come, stop touching yourself."

"Mistress!" Niall lets go of his cock and fists his hand in his hair as tears spring to his eyes. "Mistress, please, I'm so close."

"No, no, don't--" Louis shouts, "oh god, I'm-I'm, fuck, fuck!" She screams as she comes and Niall shuts his eyes and bites down hard on his bottom lip, nearly drawing blood as his cock aches just listening to her.

He wishes she'd have come over, that she would've been coming on his cock instead of the vibrator. He wants so badly to touch her, to come with her voice in his ears and her breath on his skin.

"Mistress," he begs after she's turned off the vibrator and mostly caught her breath. "Mistress, please."

"My good boy," she whispers. "Still need to come, don't you?"

"Yes," he whimpers, "please."

"Wish I could do it myself. Maybe I'd suck you. Haven't done that yet, have I?"

"Oh god," Niall whispers, "Mistress, please."

"Touch yourself, but slowly." She sighs. "Maybe I'd let you come on me again, know how much you liked that last time."

"Yes," he grunts as he tries to resist the urge to pull himself off faster. "Want that."

"Definitely filming you next time. Maybe we'll see how many times you can get me off before you come, would you like that?"

Niall whimpers, he can't bear the thought of not coming right now. He can't even entertain the idea of not being able to come a second longer.

"Or maybe I'll just make you come over and over. Ride you until you can't come anymore, hmm? Let you fuck me as many times as you want?"

"Fuck, Mistress, please, can I come?"

"Come, boy. Come now, please me. Please your Mistress." Louis moans breathily and Niall closes his eyes. "Come like you're coming inside of me, like I know you want to."

"Yes, yes, yes!" Niall shouts as he comes, working his cock until he's utterly spent and he nearly drops his phone entirely.

"Good boy," Louis whispers.

*

Niall can't stop biting his nails. It's an ugly, disgusting, nervous habit that he knows he should stop but he just can't. He tries balling his hands into fists and staring at the cream-colored carpet of the waiting room, studying the leftover vacuum lines instead of dwelling on all the thoughts rushing around his head.

He decided before he even got in the car to come to his therapy appointment: he was going to tell Joe about Louis.

He can't stop thinking about her, every minute of every day. He hasn't touched himself since they last spoke on the phone three days ago, but even if he did he knows it wouldn't be what he really wanted. He just wants Louis to touch him.

"I'm, like, obsessed or something," he says with a mildly hysterical laugh. "That's not healthy, is it?"

"Infatuation isn't abnormal, especially when it comes to a new sexual relationship." Joe drums his fingers against his knee before he continues, "but it's not romantic, you said?"

Niall shakes his head. "It's more like a business transaction, sort of a thing." He laughs again. "Shit, that makes it sound like she's a prostitute, and she's not." He groans. "It's just… like… she knows what I need, y'know?"

"Unfortunately, I'm not an expert in BDSM culture," Joe laughs lightly, "but you seem different when you talk about her. Most of the time when you're in here you're avoiding eye contact or chewing on your fingernails because you don't want to talk about why we're really here. When you talk about Louis, it's a whole different story."

"Yeah, but…" Niall clears his throat, "that's not, like, I don't fancy her or anything."

"Don't you?"

"Well…" Niall pauses, "like, she's gorgeous and sexy and can be a bit of a shit but it's endearing, y'know? I just…" Niall swallows harshly. "Never thought of it like that, I guess."

"Maybe it's something you should think about." Joe leans back in his chair and sighs. "If she makes you happy, Niall - and it certainly seems like she does - then perhaps you should reconsider what this arrangement means to you."

"Yeah, but, what if she doesn't want to do that?" Niall gulps. "What if she's--"

"Niall," Joe interrupts calmly, "you can't spend your life wondering about the what if's. Instead, think about the time you've spent with Louis and what it means to you."

Joe's words circle around Niall's head as he leaves the office and heads back to his flat. He relaxes on his couch and lets his eyes close as he thinks about the times that Louis has come over, remembering some details more clearly over others.

The memory of Louis in his jersey pops into his head and Niall's breath catches as his cock twitches under his trousers. He'll never forget how she looked in it, how the hem hugged the curve of her arse and he wished she hadn't immediately pulled it off when she caught him watching her. He remembers the flush in her cheeks when she climbed onto the bed next to him and how badly he'd wanted to kiss her then.

"Goddammit," he murmurs, "he's right."

Niall takes his phone out of his pocket and opens a new text to Louis, asking what her plans are for the evening in the hopes that she's not already busy.

**_got something in mind, boy?_ **

**_was thinkin maybe you could tie me up like you said?_ **

**_i'll be over at 8._ **

Niall shivers in anticipation and carefully puts his phone down on the coffee table, willing the hours to pass by quickly. He decides to take a shower knowing at the very least that will take up some of the time between now and when Louis will arrive.

His mind wanders as he stands under the spray of hot water, his cock growing hard between his legs as he thinks about the curves of Louis' body and how she feels under his hands. He takes care to avoid touching his cock as he washes his body with soap but he still shudders every time his hands drift anywhere near it.

He shuts his eyes and imagines Louis is in the shower with him, soaked from head to toe and staring at him with the same hunger he always feels when he looks at her. In this daydream she sinks to her knees and sucks his cock into his mouth as she digs her fingers into his thighs, sending sparks up his spine as he threads his fingers in her hair.

Louis' voice floats in the back of his mind, _maybe I'd suck you, haven't done that yet_ , as Niall leans against the wall and concentrates on breathing steadily. He's never felt her mouth around his cock but _god_ if his imagination doesn't try its best to fill in the blanks. He forces himself to stop thinking about it because the last thing he wants to do is come all over himself before Louis even shows up.

Niall breathes a sigh of relief when Louis knocks on his door just after eight, looking beautiful as ever when he opens it. She smiles as she steps inside, immediately heading for the dining room instead of the living room or the bedroom like she normally does.

"What're you--" Niall starts to ask but he stop when she reappears carrying one of the chairs from the dining room. She carries it through the living room and into his bedroom while Niall stays still, watching her as he tries to figure out what it is she's doing.

"Aren't you coming?" she calls, snapping him out of his confused daze and he jogs into his bedroom to see that Louis has set up the chair in the middle of the room and is in the middle of setting up a tripod with a camera attached to the top.

"Um."

"Said you wanted to be filmed, yeah?" she says with a grin. "Thought this would be a good one to do that for."

"Yeah?" Niall gulps as goosebumps spread across his skin like wildfire. He can't wait to see what else she's come up with for this time around.

"C'mere," she says as she extends her hand towards him, her grin softening into a warm smile. She gently pulls him over towards the chair and lets him sit down of his own accord while she takes a few more things out of her satchel.

Louis pulls out two pieces of silk rope and lay them across Niall's lap, presumably so Niall can inspect them before she uses them to tie his wrists together but his attention is stolen when she pulls a third piece of silk from her bag. He takes a deep breath as she steps in front of him and holds it up to his face, covering his eyes with it for a split second before she drops it into his lap too.

She brought a blindfold. Niall had managed to calm himself down between his shower and when Louis knocked on the door, but now he was back to feeling absurdly turned on.

"Now, Mistress?" he asks softly as he licks his lips.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, m'green, I promise."

"Always so eager," Louis murmurs with a light chuckle. She removes the silk from his lap and gestures for him to stand up as she walks over towards the camera and turns it on. "Take off your clothes, boy."

Niall jumps up and strips off his shirt, keeping his eyes on Louis as he unbuckles his belt. He knows that soon he'll be blindfolded so he doesn't want to miss her undressing if she chooses to do it while he can still see.

She catches him staring and smiles as she starts unbuttoning her blouse, taking far more care in removing her clothes than Niall did. He sits back down in the chair once he's naked and watches her reveal another new lingerie set, this one all white and lace.

Niall stifles a whine as she crosses the room, silk in hand, and walks around him to start tying his wrists to the chair. The knots aren't tight enough to cut off circulation but they're definitely not loose enough that Niall could slip out of them if he wanted to. He tests them once or twice after Louis finishes and flexes his hands just in case she's still close enough for him to touch, but she's already moved away.

It's unexpected, how being restrained makes Niall feel even more jittery than usual. He suspects it has something to do with how Louis has hardly touched him at all since she arrived and that just won't do.

"What now, Mistress?" he asks as she steps in front of him while twisting the blindfold around her hands.

Louis hums softly as she unwraps her hands and straddles Niall's lap, smirking at him when he gasps as she brushes against his cock. All that's between them is the thin layer of her knickers and Niall can feel the warmth radiating from her as she slides her hips forward.

"No peeking," she whispers as she places the blindfold over Niall's eyes and ties a knot at the back of his head.

Niall grunts when she suddenly lifts off his lap and he can't tell where she is, already missing the feeling of her in his lap. He hears her giggle and moves his head around as he tries to figure out which direction it came from.

"Mistress?" he says, his voice already on the edge of begging.

"Don't worry, boy," she purrs in his ear as she comes up behind him, her breasts pressing against the back of his neck as she leans over one shoulder. "I won't leave you."

Niall relaxes with a shiver as Louis runs her hands down his chest, drawing imaginary lines across his skin until she reaches his hips. Her touch disappears for a moment but Niall hardly has a chance to miss it before she wraps a slick hand around his cock and he jumps.

"Easy, boy."

"S-Sorry, Mistress."

"Be good, now." She wraps her other arm around Niall's shoulder, pressing her hand against his chest as she starts stroking him while keeping her mouth right by his ear. "Love being good for me, don't you?"

"Yes," he gasps as she twists her wrist. He feels her smile against his skin and he shivers again.

"Always so good for me." She speeds up her hand and Niall groans. "Think maybe I'll reward you early tonight, take the edge off."

"Mistress," he says, breaking off into a moan as he bucks his hips up into her hand.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? If I let you come now then I can play with you all I want before I have to let you come again. Can you do that for me, boy?"

"Yes," Niall pants, "yes, Mistress, I can, I--"

Niall moans loudly as Louis twists her wrist again, stroking him fast and hard to get him close to coming. He feels like he's been on edge since she first put her hand on him, there's no way he'll be able to last much longer.

"C'mon now, boy. Don't make me beg."

Louis sets her teeth against the curve of his shoulder, barely sinking them into his flesh but the small bite is enough to push Niall over the edge. He gasps and moans as he comes all over his own thighs and Louis keeps stroking him through it until he whimpers softly.

"Good boy," she purrs, keeping her mouth close to his ear as she sucks on one of her fingers. Niall moans helplessly as he feels his cock twitch at the sound, betraying him by already wanting to get hard again.

Louis pulls away from him and once again Niall's left alone without knowing where she is, but this time it's worse because he's covered in his own come and embarrassment creeps into his mind when he remembers that he's being filmed. He just barely hears her footsteps over the sound of his own breathing but he still doesn't expect to feel her hands on his knees and he jumps again.

She laughs gently but doesn't otherwise comment on his surprise as she slowly spreads his legs and rubs a warm, wet cloth over his thighs. She cleans every part of him but avoids touching his cock in any way, which Niall can't decide if he's grateful for or unhappy about.

He certainly doesn't expect to feel her run her tongue along his cock or wrap her mouth around the head. He shouts a curse as she sucks him clean, taking only a few seconds to do so before she pulls off and stops touching him altogether.

"Something wrong, boy?" she asks in a sharp tone.

"No, Mistress, just--"

"Just what?"

"Wasn't expecting it, is all," Niall pants.

"Thought you were going to be good. And after I already let you come once?" Louis sighs. "Suppose I'll have to punish you now."

"M-Mistress--"

"I was going to take the blindfold off," she continues, her voice fading a little in Niall's ears as she walks away from him, "so you could watch me suck you. Thought that's what you wanted."

"Mistress…" he begs softly.

"Have to keep it on, now. Won't let you see or touch until you prove you can be good."

"I can be," Niall cries. "I can, Mistress. I'll be good."

"Shh," Louis says, putting a finger on Niall's lips. He moans softly, wishing he could suck her finger into his mouth. He wants to show her that he's good but how can he when he can't do anything to please her?

She straddles his thighs but instead of scooting forward to be right in his lap, this time she sits so far away that she's practically sitting on his knees. He tries to bring his legs together but she pinches his thigh and he yelps.

"Don't move unless I tell you to, boy," she snaps. He spreads his legs back to where they were and whimpers.

"Yes, Mistress."

"Brought a little friend with me," she says casually and Niall's ears perk up. "Was gonna use it while I sucked you, or maybe even if I fucked you. Was gonna let you watch, too, but now all you're going to do is listen."

Niall's expecting the buzz of the vibrator before it turns on, but it still sends a shiver through his body when Louis switches it on and lets out a soft moan when she presses it against herself. She rocks forward a little on his knees and Niall wishes he could see it like he did the last time. He knows it'd be so much better here in person, to watch Louis fuck herself with a vibrator, and he bites his lip to keep him from moaning pathetically and risk her not touching him at all.

"Fills me up so well," she gasps. Niall shudders as the buzzing grows softer as the vibrator sinks into her and he feels his cock twitch and start filling already. "Maybe even better than you did. What do you think, boy?"

"No," he replies petulantly, "no, Mistress, please."

"You think you can fill me up better? But you've been so naughty."

"I can," Niall begs, "I can, I swear, I--"

Louis interrupts him with a high-pitched moan and she reaches forward to grab Niall's hip, giving herself an anchor as she fucks herself with the vibrator. Even with biting his lip Niall can't hold in every moan and his cock starts throbbing between his legs, so close to Louis' hand with no promise of relief.

"Could you be good for me this time?" she asks breathlessly. "Make me come with your cock before you do?"

"Yes, yes I can, Mistress. Please let me, I wanna be good for you. Wanna make you come."

Louis stands up suddenly and Niall hears her turn off the vibrator but she doesn't come back to him. He fights the urge to call out to her, knowing that would probably just ruin his chances anyway. He waits as patiently as he can, concentrating on his breathing to keep himself calm.

"Not ready for me yet, are you, boy?"

Niall opens his mouth to ask what she means but all that comes out is a strangled groan because Louis grabs a hold of his cock and starts rolling a condom onto it. Niall pants as she strokes him a few times to ensure it's on properly and then she climbs into his lap. She slowly sinks onto his cock, letting out a pleased moan when he's all the way in.

"Hmm," she says with a light laugh, "maybe you do fill me up better."

"Yes, Mistress," Niall says, his voice strained. She laughs again and then presses herself against Niall's chest and it's then that he realizes that she's now completely naked in his lap. The still-rational part of his mind reminds him that she didn't give him permission to touch but he can't help himself, he starts mouthing at her collarbones.

Louis inhales sharply, as though she's about to scold him for touching without permission, but he starts trailing kisses across her collarbone and working his way up her neck and she shivers.

She doesn't say a word, the only sounds falling from her lips as she rides him are breathy gasps and moans. Niall continues kissing her neck, feeling drunk off the taste of her skin. He's never done this before, he realizes, he's only ever licked and sucked her nipples. He curses himself for not doing this sooner, especially given how she reacts when he sucks at her skin and then soothes it with kisses.

"Be good," she says shakily as she grips his shoulders. "Don't come."

"I won't, Mistress," he says, his lips pressed against her neck. "Promise."

"G-Good boy." She gasps and clenches around him. Louis is practically shaking in his lap and he realizes that she must be trying not to come as quickly as she wants to, and he decides to take matters into his own hands.

He bucks his hips up as best he can, thrusting his cock deeper inside of her to make her gasp and cling to him harder. She wraps her arms around his neck, pressing herself against him as much as she can and he latches onto where her neck meets her shoulder so he can suck a dark mark into her skin.

"I'm…" Louis gasps, "oh god, I'm--"

"Come, Mistress," Niall begs as he licks the mark he left. "Please, come."

She cries out, gripping Niall's shoulders so hard she's sure to leave fingernail marks in his skin. She shudders so hard that Niall wishes he could put his arms around her so as to make sure she won't fall out of his lap when she comes down.

A minute or two pass by before she takes a deep breath and asks, "did you?"

"No, Mistress," Niall replies, "m'being good."

"God," she gasps, "you are, aren't you? My good boy."

She rips off the blindfold and Niall blinks a few times before he can look at her. Her cheeks are stained red and her eyes are wide with desire, she looks impossibly beautiful. He's never seen her like this before and he wants to commit it to memory in case it never happens again.

"Mistress," he whispers as he leans forward to kiss her neck again. She gasps softly and drags her fingers through his hair.

"Want you to come, boy. Come for me."

"Yes, Mistress."

Louis stifles a whine as she starts riding him again, continuing to cling to him desperately as he keeps his mouth pressed against her. It won't take long, he knows it won't, especially not with the way she's writhing around on his lap. Louis can't seem to stay quiet, letting out this desperate moans and pleas for him to come.

"C'mon, c'mon," she babbles, "come for me."

"Mistress," he groans as he tips his head back, pulling his mouth away from her neck, "Mistress, I'm--"

"Yes, that's it, c'mon," she gasps, "come for me, Niall!"

"Mistr--"

Louis surges forward and kisses him on the mouth, catching him off-guard only for a moment before he starts kissing her back. It's the catalyst he needed, he moans into her mouth as he comes but doesn't stop kissing her. She quivers against him, clenching around his cock as she comes for a second time while they keep kissing.

She's the first to pull away, breathing heavily as she stares at Niall with wide eyes. He licks his lips and tries to lean forward to kiss her again but can't get close enough with his arms still tied up. She laughs softly as she wipes her mouth with the back of his hand before slowly sliding off his cock and standing up on shaky legs.

"Let me get that for you," she murmurs as she steps around the chair and tugs on the knots until his wrists are freed.

"Thanks," he says with a satisfied groan as he rubs his wrists a little. He turns around in the chair to see Louis getting dressed already and he frowns. "What're you--"

"Oh, silly me," she laughs, a little hysterical, "I'll get a flannel. Why don't you lie down, hmm?"

Niall stares at her as she runs towards the ensuite, his head full of confusion as he slowly stands up. It's a good thing the bed is only a couple feet away because his legs don't exactly work quite yet. He collapses with a sigh and stretches, turning towards the ensuite just as Louis reappears with a wet cloth in hand.

She climbs onto the bed, dressed in her lingerie with her blouse unbuttoned as she leans over Niall and removes the condom so she can clean him up.

"Good?" she asks.

"Y-Yeah," Niall answers as he looks at her curiously, noticing that she won't look him in the eye. "Did I…"

"Anything you want to, um, discuss?" she asks. "I know that was probably a lot."

"I liked it. All of it." He laughs a little. "At the end, though, umm..."

"You were a good boy," Louis interrupts. "I rewarded you."

"Okay," he says, his voice dropping low. "Are you okay?"

Louis looks at him, a smile plastered to her face. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

Niall shakes his head and slowly reaches his hand out towards her, already missing the small contact they usually have during this time. He hears Louis let out a short breath before she takes his hand and lays down next to him, squeezing his hand tightly.

*

A whole week goes by without Niall hearing from Louis. He tries texting her but she doesn't respond, he calls her but she doesn't pick up. He's watched the video they made no less than a hundred times since then but doesn't touch himself even though it makes him so turned on he can't even see straight.

He replays the conversation they had just before she left that night over and over in his head, trying to figure out where he went wrong.

"Can I…" he'd said, nearly losing his nerve when Louis turned to look at him with the camera already halfway shoved into her bag. "Can I have the video?"

"Y-Yeah. Of course," she'd answered, quickly popping the memory card out of the camera and walking it over to him. He'd smiled at her but she didn't return it.

"Thanks." He'd cleared his throat as he watched her pack up her bag. He didn't want her to leave but he just didn't know how to make her stay. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yeah," she'd replied. "I'll see you."

Now here he was, sitting in Joe's office a week later, wondering how he'd ruined everything quite so spectacularly. Joe knew from the moment Niall walked in that something was wrong. Niall sort of hates that his therapist can read him so well.

"I shouldn't have kissed her," he mumbles. "She told me from the start that she doesn't do kissing, so it was my fault."

"But you said she kissed you, right?" Joe hums. "How was it your fault if you were responding to what she did first?"

"Yeah, like, she kissed me on the mouth, but I was kissing her neck and stuff. I'd never done that before."

"Did she tell you to stop?"

"No." Niall chews on his bottom lip. "Sorta… seemed like she liked it too much, y'know? Like she was trying to stay in control but didn't want to say no."

"And what do you think that means?"

"I don't know!" Niall huffs. "She won't answer my calls or texts now so I _think_ that means I fucked up!"

"Niall," Joe says patiently, "last time you were here, you told me that you were starting to get feelings for her, remember?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you think it's possible that she was starting to develop feelings for you, too? And that this last time you two were together she let those feelings take over and as a result, she feels like she screwed up as your Dom?"

"But… she didn't."

"It sounds like she lost control. I don't know BDSM very well, as I've said, but if a Dom loses control while in the middle of a scene with their sub there's no telling what could happen. She's probably beating herself up over it because she overstepped a boundary."

"But I liked it. And isn't this supposed to be about pushing boundaries?"

"In a way, yeah. But you can't lose control when you have someone else's well-being in your hands. It's the same no matter what world you're in - BDSM or otherwise - if you lose control, you put yourself and everyone else in danger."

"I…" Niall sighs. "I didn't think about it like that."

"I think you and Louis have some things to talk about, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but… she won't talk to me. How are we supposed to talk if she literally won't talk to me?"

"Unfortunately, Niall," Joe chuckles, "you're going to have to figure that one out for yourself."

Niall thought about what Joe said all the way home, somehow managing to make it there despite being so distracted. He sat in his car long after he parked trying to come up with some way for him to get Louis to answer her phone.

There was one solution that he'd thought of after the first day of radio silence from Louis, but he was really trying to avoid it. The last thing he wanted to do was drag Harry into all this mess, especially because he'd probably end up making things worse by trying to help. Harry's heart is in the right place but Niall knows better than anyone how his meddling can backfire.

Still, it's the only idea he's got.

**_have you talked to louis lately?_ **

Niall takes a deep breath as he waits for Harry to text back, hoping it won't take too long. He opens another text and addresses it to Louis but pauses before he writes anything. His other texts to her over the last week pop up and he scrolls through them as he tries to come up with something new to say.

 **_i miss you_** , he types and erases.

 **_i wish you'd talk to me_** , he erases even faster.

Before he can try anything else, Harry texts back.

**_not this week! why?_ **

Niall takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before he composes his reply.

**_i need your help._ **

*

Niall feels just as nervous as the first time Harry took him to the sex club, although now it's for an entirely different reason. He's afraid that Louis won't be there, he's afraid that she _will_ be there.

He's downright terrified that she'll turn and run upon seeing him.

Harry's been trying to cheer him up all evening by telling him all the strange things Louis has done in the time that Harry's known her, but it's doing little to make Niall feel any better.

Honestly the last thing he wants to hear is how many times the girl he fancies got off with one of his best mates. It doesn't exactly fill him with confidence.

"That's all in the past now, though. Nothing going on with me and Lou, you know that."

"Thanks, Haz." Niall inhales deeply. "Think this will work?"

"Well, she's definitely going to be here so it's worth a shot, right?"

"Yeah, but, d'you think she'll talk to me?"

Harry shrugs. "Guess we'll find out, eh?"

Niall sighs heavily as he follows Harry inside, passing by the bouncer with ease before he hands over his cell phone. The club isn't nearly as crowded as it was the first time but Niall still feels the need to tug at his collar, already desperate for relief from his nerves. He glances around, looking for Louis, but he doesn't see her anywhere.

"I'm sure she's here somewhere, mate."

"Yeah," Niall mutters. There's a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as his mind comes up with a hundred possible reasons why he doesn't see Louis. The biggest one is that she's in some back room somewhere with another sub, someone who won't disappoint her like he did.

"C'mon, let's take a closer look, yeah?" Harry jostles Niall good-naturedly before he leads the way further into the club with Niall trailing close behind.

Niall tries to shrink himself so he can hide behind Harry, thinking maybe it's best if he spots Louis first before she sees him. He wouldn't doubt that she'd take one look at him and go running for the door.

"Get a fuckin' grip," he mutters to himself, frustrated by all of his negative thoughts. If he keeps assuming the worst, the worst is all he's gonna get.

"There!" Harry stops abruptly and Niall walks right into his back, slightly knocking the wind out of himself as he looks where Harry's pointing. He sees Louis across the room in a booth with several other people and he quickly ducks behind Harry even further just to ensure that she doesn't see him.

"What now?" he asks Harry.

"Don't you have a plan?" Harry asks as he turns around and stares down at Niall.

"Not really," Niall replies with a sheepish laugh. Harry rolls his eyes and huffs as he pulls Niall to his feet and pushes him in the direction of the booth.

"Go on, then!" Niall stares at him with a panicked look and Harry shoves him again. "You can do this."

Niall turns back around and takes a deep breath before he starts walking to the other side of the room. He doesn't let himself think about what he's going to say, if only because he has _no idea_ what he's actually going to say if Louis actually gives him the time of day. He concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other while keeping his eyes fixed on Louis to ensure she doesn't run off.

He didn't expect someone else to get in the way, certainly not someone who towers over him with muscles bigger than his head. Niall stares up at the bloke and chuckles nervously, trying to think of something to say that won't get him punched.

"You're a big one, aren't you?" he says, regretting the words almost as soon as they come out.

"I think you should go."

"I just want to talk," Niall begs. "I swear, that's all, I--"

"Liam, it's okay." Louis appears at his side, putting her hand on Liam's bicep and gently pushing him aside. "Down, boy."

Niall turns his head as Liam looks at Louis, he doesn't want to see whatever's going on between the two of them. It hurts enough to hear her call someone else "boy", he can't imagine how it'd feel to see anything else.

He glances back at Harry who gives him two thumbs up and a wide smile, but Niall can hardly manage a small one in return. He's already feeling defeated and part of him wishes he hadn't come at all.

"C'mon," Louis says, snapping Niall out of his thoughts as she gently takes his wrist and leads him away from the booth and into a secluded corner of the club. She lets go of him as soon as she stops walking and quickly crosses her arms, avoiding eye contact with Niall just like he does with her.

"You, uhh, you look good," he says, allowing himself to look at her for approximately five seconds before he stares back down at the floor. She's wearing yet another lingerie set that he's never seen before and he tries very hard to stamp down a voice in the back of his head that wonders just how many of those she's got at home.

"Thanks," Louis replies. She clears her throat, clearly waiting for Niall to say whatever it was he wants to say to her, but he still can't find his words. "You said you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah," he says quickly, fearing she may leave if he doesn't say anything at all. "I, umm, I just…" He sighs sharply and rubs his eyes, wishing he knew what to say that didn't make him sound like an idiot.

"Niall…"

"I'm sorry," he blurts. "I'm sorry for whatever it was that I did to make you stop talking to me. I'm sorry for kissing you, if that's what did it, but I know given the chance I'd do it again."

"Niall--"

"I really liked it, okay? I mean, I liked everything that we did but when we kissed it just… it felt real, y'know? Like, I'm not saying that what we had wasn't real because it was - it was you and me and how can that not be real? - but it just felt _different_. And maybe that's why you stopped talking to me." Niall sighs. "Joe said you probably felt like you fucked up, but I never thought that for a minute!"

"Joe? Who's Joe?"

"My therapist. He said--"

"You talked to your therapist about me?" Louis asks and Niall looks up to see an astonished look on her face and he immediately starts apologizing all over again.

"The team managers set it up after…" Niall trails off and shakes his head. "Supposed to help me be happy again, I guess, but all I did for weeks and weeks was sit there and not talk about anything at all. And then I met you and I know we weren't like, normal or real or whatever, but… it made me happy." Niall sniffs a little and gives a watery laugh. "Fuck, you made me so happy, Lou."

Louis stays quiet even after Niall's stopped talking. He tries to compose himself as best he can, mentally kicking himself for starting to cry like an idiot. If anything, he wouldn't blame Louis for walking away after he's embarrassed himself so spectacularly.

"I'm sorry," he says again, in-between deep breaths. "I'll just… I'll go. Let you get back to your new boy." Niall tries to ignore the way his voice cracks as he says 'boy' but just the thought makes his heart twist inside his chest.

 _You've done enough_ , he thinks to himself. _Go now, before you embarrass yourself even more._

Niall takes all of three steps away from Louis before she grabs his arm. He looks back at her but she doesn't say anything at first, she just stares at him with this look in her eyes that Niall can't put into words. They both stand frozen for a few seconds before Louis finally composes herself and opens her mouth to speak.

"Can we talk?" she asks.

"I thought we just did," Niall answers, his tone vaguely bitter.

"Not here," Louis glances around and bites her lip. "Come back to mine?"

Niall's utterly confused by this sudden change of heart but it doesn't stop him from nodding and following Louis as she leads him out of the club. He only spares a passing glance to Harry with a shrug of his shoulders that he hopes Harry understands to mean, _I have no fucking idea what's going on either_.

Louis retrieves a long black coat while Niall gets his phone back but they don't say a word to each other as they exit the club and Louis flags down a taxi. The only times Louis speaks is to give her address to the driver and then again to thank him when they pull up in front of her flat. Niall's heart is pounding as he climbs the steps behind Louis, wondering just what she could possibly want to talk about that she couldn't say while they were at the club.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asks, overly casual. As if they were normal acquaintances, like they hadn't seen each other naked and in compromising positions.

Niall simply shakes his head. Louis disappears into the kitchen for a moment and Niall hears the faucet run once, twice, and then silence. He glances around as he carefully steps further into Louis' flat, unsure if he's even allowed to move.

It's not what he expected, if he's being honest. He didn't exactly think Louis would live in some sort of sex cave with whips and chains hung on the walls and swings hanging from the ceiling, but he imagined there to be at least some BDSM paraphernalia lying around.

It's not overly tidy, there are a few teacups scattered on various surfaces throughout the living room and what looks like yesterday's takeaway still sitting on the coffee table, but it feels _homey_ in a way that Niall certainly didn't expect. Photographs of Louis with younger girls of varying ages litter the bookshelves and it warms Niall's heart to see her so happy if only in photos.

He jumps a little when Louis walks back into the room wearing joggers and a sweater, slipping by him to sit down on the couch. He hesitates for a moment before he sits down next to her, constantly having to remind himself that they're just two people - she's not his Dom right now, if ever again.

"You sure you don't want anything?" Louis asks, her voice now tinged with nerves. "I could make tea, or if you want something stronger I've got--"

"Why'd you bring me here, Louis?" Niall interrupts.

She goes silent again and fidgets with the hem of her sweater, all the while avoiding Niall's eyes as he looks at her.

"I didn't know you were in therapy," she starts quietly.

"Why would you?" Niall shakes his head. "It's not exactly something I tell a lot of people."

Louis looks up at him. "You don't have to be ashamed, Niall. When someone goes through something like you did, you--"

"What would you know about it?" Niall snaps, suddenly angry that Louis is talking about this like she knows anything about it.

"I just--"

"One of my best mates _died_ , Louis. And not like in some weird, freak accident, he killed himself because he was so unhappy that he decided he didn't want to live anymore, and I never even knew he wasn't happy!" Niall shouts as tears spring to his eyes. "I never…" He gasps for breath. "He never told me. How can you see someone day in and day out and not know they're miserable?"

"Niall--"

"He just left. No warning, no cry for help, nothing. I can't--" Niall stops and buries his head in his hands as he chokes back a sob.

"It's not your fault," Louis says as she carefully lays a hand on Niall's shoulder. "Niall, you have to know that."

Niall shakes it off as he sniffs and wipes at his eyes. "I do know that. Doesn't stop the guilt, though."

"I'm sorry," Louis offers but Niall shakes his head.

"Can't apologize for something that's not your fault." He gives a hollow laugh and rubs at his eyes again. "Thought I was past this," he mutters.

"You, umm, you said I made you happy." Louis starts tugging on her sweater again and Niall tracks the movement with his eyes, choosing to concentrate on that rather than how his heart has started beating faster.

"Yeah," he says softly.

"Were you unhappy before? Like…"

Niall shrugs. "Dunno. I mean, my ex left me and then…" He takes a breath. "Think maybe I was a bit lost, is all. Didn't know what I wanted."

"And now?"

Niall looks Louis in the eyes as he says, "I want you." She immediately looks away and he lets out a deep breath. "But I reckon that's up to you, innit?"

"You don't want me," Louis says as she shakes her head. "I'm no good."

"Don't say that. You--"

"I fucked up, Niall. You needed me and I fucked up, I lost control. Doms can't do that."

"S'funny," Niall chuckles softly. "That's what Joe said."

"I told you from the start that I don't kiss," Louis continues, ignoring Niall's comment. "It's a limit I set for myself because I know what it does to me." Louis' cheeks are turning pink and she won't look Niall in the eye, but Niall can't keep his eyes off her. "It's ruined a few of my past Dom/sub arrangements and I didn't want it to happen again."

"So you'll spank a bloke but you won't kiss him?"

Louis groans. "I didn't say it made sense, alright? I just…" She huffs. "To me, kissing is one of the most intimate things you can do with another person and I can't let it affect me when I'm domming someone. I need to stay in control, don't you understand?"

"It's a shame," Niall says with a soft laugh. "I loved kissing you."

"Niall, don't."

"Thought about it a lot since it happened."

"Niall--"

"Sort of liked how you lost control." He starts to lean in and Louis thumps his chest.

"Stop that," she snaps. "I'm trying to tell you I can't be your Dom anymore--"

Niall kisses her. He slides his hand up and around her neck and she sighs as she starts kissing him back, letting go of her sweater in favor of twisting her fingers into the fabric of Niall's shirt instead. He stays close as he pulls his mouth away from hers, tilting his head so their foreheads touch as they both breathe heavily.

"I don't want you to just be my Dom," Niall says softly and Louis' grip on his shirt tightens.

"Niall…" she breathes out shakily and he kisses her again.

"I wanna be able to kiss you whenever I like, or whenever you like." He chuckles softly and Louis lets out a groan.

"You don't want me," she says, but her actions betray her words as she tries to pull Niall even closer to her. "I'll lose control again."

"I quite like when you lose control," Niall murmurs against her lips.

"Niall," she gasps, "I don't, I can't…"

"Why?"

She breathes out a sob and shakes her head. "I've gone down this road before and it didn't end well. I thought if I didn't kiss you then I wouldn't fall…"

"I fell even before I kissed you," Niall whispers. "Looks like we're both screwed, huh?"

Louis laughs softly. "Whatever shall we do?"

Niall leans back a little and takes in the look on Louis' face and smiles. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are wide as she looks back at him and for the first time it feels like she's wearing her heart on her sleeve rather than locked up where Niall can't get to it.

"How about we start with a kiss?" he says, smiling widely as Louis leans in and presses their lips together.

"You sure about this?" she asks a little while later as she shifts on the couch to tuck herself under Niall's arm and lean her head on his shoulder.

"Surer than I was when I walked into the club tonight," he admits with a nervous laugh. "Was terrified you'd take one look at me and run."

"Thought about it," she replies as she laces her fingers through Niall's and squeezes his hand. "S'part of the reason why I had Liam talk to you first."

Niall bristles at the mention of his name without even meaning to. "Yeah, umm, he was…"

"Just a mate of mine," Louis replies. "Nobody you should be worried about, if that's what you're thinking."

Niall exhales sharply. "Thought he might've been, y'know, your new… me."

"Oh, god," Louis laughs delightedly and buries her head in Niall's neck. "Whatever made you think that?"

"You called him boy," Niall admits sheepishly and Louis presses a kiss against his jaw.

"I said, 'down, boy'. Not the same thing." She gently nips at Niall's neck and he shivers. "You're my only boy."

"Good," he murmurs as he shifts, clearing his throat and looking as innocent as possible when Louis gives him a curious look.

"Really?"

"What?"

Louis smirks at him as she lifts her hand and places it directly over his groin, pressing down just enough that she feels his half-hard cock under his trousers. Niall inhales sharply but doesn't make a move to pull her hand away and she chuckles.

"Always so desperate, aren't you?"

"It's been a while," he mumbles, "plus, y'know… kissing and all."

Louis' smirk grows wider as she climbs onto Niall's lap and starts kissing his neck as she tugs his arms around her. He moans a little and she smiles against his skin before she pulls away and kisses his lips instead.

"How long?" she asks.

"Since last time," Niall replies, groaning softly when Louis shifts on his lap.

"My poor boy," she says with an exaggerated pout. "Can't have that, now, can we?"

Niall shakes his head and moans as Louis rocks her hips down against his cock while she slips her sweater over her head. He breathes out _Mistress_ on a whine and she kisses him as she reaches around for his hands to put them on her breasts.

"Just Louis tonight," she says with a gasp as he squeezes her breasts. "I just wanna make you come as many times as you can."

"Fuck," Niall groans as he reaches up and fists one hand in Louis' hair and pulls her back in for a kiss. "Bet I could come just from kissing you."

Louis laughs as she grinds her hips down against Niall again to make him moan again. She smiles at him as she presses a kiss to his lips and then trails a line of kisses down his jaw leading towards his ear.

"I'll take that bet."

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://imlouisaf.tumblr.com)


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